Dear Friend,

When we read this month’s selected letter to Ask Fanny, we recognized the TV show the writer was talking about. It’s a situation comedy on HBO called Lucky Louie, the second episode, “Kim’s O.”

In it, Kim has her first orgasm at age 37. Brava! At last somebody’s talking about real women’s G-spot orgasms on TV. Or so we thought. Actually, they never mentioned the G-spot. Too bad, because we suspect that’s what finally freed Kim to “unlock her box.”

The title character, Louis, decides he and Kim had better give up on trying to have a baby and figure out how to give Kim those mind-blowing orgasms.

Louie and Kim can’t find the right positions. They try everything and nothing works. The only way Kim can come is if she “pretends she’s in a white box alone in the universe.”

Why? If you know what a G-spot orgasm is, you sure as hell know exactly what that “white box” is—that exquisite moment just before those exquisite orgasms explode.

They’re like nothing else in the world.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

What do you do when you’re not getting what you want in bed?

The easy and simplest solution is to do it yourself. DIY folks put their hand—or a toy—where it’s most wanted and make sure they get off. In the heat of a hot tryst, that’s a good idea. Why torture yourself with an almost-orgasm that could have been?

Asking for what you want is a good start, if not in the height of passion then perhaps over a romantic dinner or other intimate moment.

Watch your lover’s response. Is she open to your ideas? A little nervous? Reassure her that it’s okay to talk about sex. Talking doesn’t necessarily mean doing.

You can always leave her a book or DVD or pictures of what you want. Or write her a note. When she finds your gift, see what she says, how she reacts. Does she welcome your desires?

Does your lover know how to do what you want? There’s a saying, that if you have to ask someone for something three times and they don’t do it, they don’t know how. In that case, you might have to work together to learn how to do it the way you want it.

Don’t be pissy or mean if your partner says no to your request. Try to find out why. If you’re both comfortable with a compromise, you can use that as a starting point.

Let’s say you want to try anal sex. In Bend Over Boyfriend, Carol and Robert talk openly about what’s involved. But if your partner isn’t feeling adventurous enough to try it with a strap-on, maybe he’d like to explore anal sex using fingers.

Compromise can be satisfying for both of you, and a doorway in to your desires.

If there’s no compromise to be had, think about your relationship’s importance to you. It’s one thing if you’re married and committed. It’s another if this partner is an occasional date.

And if all else fails, do it yourself!

The news first. PayPal will not longer allow us to offer their services on fatalemedia.com. We’re very sorry about that—we tried—but we are working on getting the European debit card system, for those of you in Europe who would prefer using this method of payment. A hearty thank-you to those of you who were able to use PayPal while it lasted.

Annie Sprinkle’s Herstory of Porn - not for the faint of heart!

Phyllis Christopher’s Sextrospective - a perfect date-night stills show DVD to play while you woo her to bed

For more lesbian DVDs, don’t miss Shar and Jackie’s steaming Sugar High Glitter City

And stay tuned for the new DVD from the director of Full Load. Coming soon!

Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In “Ask Fanny,” an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny,

I saw a TV show where the only way the woman can come is if she pretends she's in a white box alone in the universe. I've had that experience too, where I can't find the right position to orgasm. Nothing seems to work. What can I do?

Signed,

Feeling Alone

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Dear Feeling Alone,

Since our sexual fantasies reflect how we are feeling about our sexual lives and connections, I'd say this gal in the white box alone in the universe is feeling pretty out there (excuse the pun), i.e., disconnected from others and maybe life itself—on a soul level, if you know what I mean.

It's not about the right position; it's about connection to your partner or to yourself. When you can settle down and open up in trust, the orgasms come easily no matter what position you are in, especially once your G-spot is awakened.

It's a long, and even life-long, process. But that is where I suggest you need to begin: 1) awakening your G-spot and 2) taking stock at how connected you feel emotionally to your partner. Meanwhile, an Hitachi vibrator will make anyone come - also a good beginning.

The end result can be like feeling you are floating in a white-lit universe, but not alone or in a box. Rather, connected to your partner and feeling as expanded as the universe.

Fanny

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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Last month we wrote about an article we’d found in the Australian News Corp. We said:

“According to this article, 31.1 percent of straight women did NOT have an orgasm the last time they had sex, and only 24 percent of women who’d been to bed with a woman had not.”

An Australian reader wrote:

“Thank you for the reference to the sex survey below - which had otherwise passed this Australian by!

“The figure for 24% lesbian 'non-orgasm' vs 31% hetero-woman 'non-orgasm' is mentioned in the study, but referenced to a 2003 study by Grulich et al. You'll see the reference at the end of the 3rd last paragraph of the 2006 study - but for your interest the 2003 study of homosexual respondents, is attached.”

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Send your letters and comments to christi@fatalemedia.com.

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In last month’s poll, we asked: In your last sexual experience with a partner, did you have an orgasm? Be honest!

Wow! We received 187 votes, and you love your orgasms!

See the full results of the October 2006 poll here.

This month, we want to know: Do you ask for what you want in bed?

Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page.

And we’ll give you the results next month.

Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex!

Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com