Dear Friend,

We bet you thought we meant cuddling. And we sure do a lot of that these days, holding each other and knowing that love and sex trump all, that we need each other more than ever in these uncertain times.

But coddling is another matter. Princeton University’s WordNet, which we found at Dictionary.com, defines the verb “coddle” as such:

v 1: treat with excessive indulgence; "grandparents often pamper the children"; "Let's not mollycoddle our students!" [syn: pamper, featherbed, cosset, cocker, baby, mollycoddle, spoil, indulge] 2: cook in nearly boiling water; "coddle eggs.”

Forget eggs. We’re not talking eggs here unless you want to talk about smashing eggheads who think they know what’s best for us. They don’t.

An astute reader from Maine wrote to us last month: “Thanks, ladies (and gents), for keeping me hot. It is too easy in this puritanical country to forget what is so great about being queer. How beautiful and revolutionary it is when women get it on with women. Thanks for keeping the torch burning for all of us out here. Keep it rocking!”

In this puritanical country, the U.S., Big Brother is watching. And they don’t like sex.

The masterminds of filtering who are supposedly “protecting us from spammers” have now determined that we need coddling. We are all babies unable to make up our own minds and decide for ourselves what newsletters we want, what products we want, how to communicate and what to talk about.

Self-censorship is not the answer, and yet for many small, independent pornographers, if we want to talk about sex, to “keep it rocking,” we are forced to watch what we say, curb those subject lines and watch over our shoulders.

Another reader wrote from California, “Thank you for keeping it real.”

To that end, we’re proud members of the Free Speech Coalition. Be sure to check out their Citizen Resources.

We offer our heartfelt thanks to all of you who believe in real porn and support what we’re doing at Fatale. Here’s to “keeping it real.”

Speaking of real porn, the deadline for Fatale’s Real Lesbian Sex contest is December 1st. Send us your real porn videos and DVDs now!

Yours in good sex and love,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

On a cool autumn day when you’ve got no worries and just want to have some romantic sex, find a day spa with private hot tubs.

The Spa Index is an easy-to-use guide to day spas, resorts and “lifestyle spas” around the world. If you’ve never tried it, go find one near you and sign up for an hour or two of fun, fun, fun.

Sometimes we sign up for a massage before or after an hour in the Jacuzzi. If you’ve found yourself stressing all week and want to unwind, a massage first might just do the trick.

After a quick shower, dip your toes in the hot tub and just let yourself float around and enjoy the hot water. Locate the jet streams pulsating from the sides of the tub and sit or stand back against them.

Play with each other—kissing, teasing, fondling, hugging. Get in the mood!

Then position your clit right over one of those streaming jets of hot water and lean against the side of the tub. Open your legs wide and let the water do the work of turning you on and getting you off.

If you want your lover to play with your tits or put a finger or two inside, say so! If you just want to watch her watching you come to orgasm, that’s okay too.

Hot tubs and Jacuzzis are a great way to get in the mood for even steamier sex. You’ll be so relaxed, all you’ll want to go home (or somewhere) and fuck like bunnies.

If you’re so relaxed and happy and sexually gratified you don’t need any more fucking, go out and do something you both enjoy. You won’t regret it.

Send your comments to christi@fatalemedia.com.

You asked for it, we promised, and now the DVDs are coming in. We’ve staged the production roll-out, and there are more coming.

Now on DVD:

Suburban Dykes - with the inimitable Nina Hartley and Miss Sharon Mitchell.

Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com - yowza! These dykes can’t be stopped!

Afterschool Special and Turn Me Up Over and On - this double DVD of amateur lesbian porn will knock your socks off. Both winners of Fatale’s Real Lesbian Sex contest.

Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In “Ask Fanny,” an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny:

My girlfriend is a virgin and she needs to remain a virgin due to some traditions in her family; therefore, the only way for me to give her an orgasm is by oral sex. I did not have any problems managing it till lately. It seems like she reaches the orgasm point as before, but she just can't cum. She becomes so sensitive she cannot stand me touching her anymore and pushes me away, while she begs and dies to cum. But she just can't cum. It is like she reaches her orgasm but she never gets down. Any comments?

Besides, is there any way to stimulate her Gspot without causing her to lose her virginity?

Thanks,

S.S.

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Dear S.S.,

Maybe it's time to marry that girl!

A little teasing aside, I'd say your girlfriend is evolving in her sexuality and is therefore no longer satisfied with just clitoral stimulation. How to have an orgasm then while maintaining her virginity? A thorny question; no wonder you wrote in!

First of all, you need to back off considerably with the direct stimulation on her clitoris. If you move down a bit toward the urethral opening, you will begin to stimulate the “head” of her G-spot.

As I describe in my book, Female Ejaculation and the G-spot, in most woman, the female prostate - the G-spot - begins at the opening to the urethral canal and extends approximately two inches in to the “tail” of the G-spot. The tail is where most women who are first learning to awaken the sensations of their G-spot feel the most pleasure. But since the tail is accessed through the vagina, that won't help you in this situation.

The head, however, can be stimulated on the outside of the vulva. Many women like to be patted with the hand or penis on the outside of the body - on the vulva. What is being stimulated in this case is the head of the G-spot. You can do this with your hands, after a warm-up with your tongue and fingers on her clitoris (just a little bit) and on the head of the G-spot. Basically, the head encircles the urethral opening, about one half inch in diameter. Think of it as if a woman was running her finger or tongue around the head of your penis, specifically just around your urethral opening. It's basically the same idea.

Not all women like this or feel any sensations, but some do and perhaps your girlfriend is one of them. It may take a little time for her to awaken to this sensation, but because she is a virgin, your chances that she is sensitive in that area are good.

The head and body of the G-spot are numb in far too many woman due to sexual abuse and misuse (rough handling), so fortunately your virgin has escape those problems - so far! Make sure you use a gentle touch - think of stroking a rose petal when you first touch her. That is how gentle you have to be, and most men simply are not that gentle or slow. When a woman is touched that gently, she can truly relax. It is then that she can truly feel aroused via her G-spot, and then desire a firmer touch.

Many men need to meditate on this point, and I am not teasing or kidding here. Soft touch is something most men have a difficult time getting a handle on, and it’s something most women yearn for. Most women are so used to tensing up when they are first touched that they don't even realize it anymore. This tensing, rather than relaxing and breathing, makes it difficult to awaken the G-spot, have a G-spot orgasm, and to eventually ejaculate.

Since your girlfriend is being overstimulated, I suspect you are doing it too hard. What is needed is less precise focus on her clitoris, more attention paid to her entire vulva, and a gentler touch. I also suspect she would be greatly aided by some emotional eye contact. If she is a virgin, and is testing your love for her, this is how to show it. And showing emotional connection will bring most women to orgasm easily. Women have just learned to “take it like a man” sexually, but women crave emotional connection with the touch. If she is a virgin, teach her right at the beginning so she doesn't have to relearn and undo harmful or unsatisfying erotic abilities like far too many woman are struggling to do these days.

Fanny

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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Just a reminder that when you order three videos or DVDs, you get free shipping within the U.S.

Plus, we offer free gift-wrapping and free gift cards. Just click “gift wrap” on the order form. Fatale’s got perfect gifts—and new gift packages—for Christmas, Hanukah, birthdays, anniversaries and wedding celebrations!

In last month’s poll, we asked: Who’s your favorite porn star? Well, you surprised us! You all must like Suburban Dykes a lot—and you’ll be happy to know it’s now on DVD.

One porn-star fan wrote: “I like at least three of the women. I liked Annie Sprinkle the best because she has huge natural tits & she was kinky. Nina Hartley is still popular with her own site & I love her kinky nature, especially with young models. Sharon Mitchell has the right look for a kinky Mistress.”

Click here to see the results.

This month, we thought we’d ask a very personal question.

New poll: How old were you when you had your first orgasm?

This poll is completely anonymous. It’s on Fatale’s home page.

We welcome your comments. Send an e-mail to christi@fatalemedia.com and you may see your words published here!

Stay tuned, and we’ll give you the results next month.

Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex!

Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com