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Fatale Media Newsletter September 2005 |
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Dear Friend,
In the dog days of summer, when the last of August drags on and September is suddenly here, we rarely expect to suddenly find ourselves the hosts of a French television crew here to do a documentary on lesbian porn.
But indeed, PinkTV is the national gay and lesbian TV station in France, and we’re honored that they’ve come to the States to interview the mavericks of the lesbian porn revolution.
That porn revolution has shot to a whole new level in the years since Nan and Deborah founded On Our Backs magazine, not only by Fatale but by the women who knew it was time for lesbian porn to have a voice in the world of sexuality.
As we write this, Sondra Goodwin is planning a private wrestling party just for the gals of PinkTV. The lovely Lynx, who starred in the show too as the bodypainted babe, intends to be in on the show.
Nan and Deborah are to be interviewed next. We’ll keep you posted on when the show is to air in France and when DVD copies will be available.
Yours in good sex and love,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
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Okay, no one wanted to comment on the steamiest lesbian sex act out there, so this month we’re talking about what to do when she doesn’t want to have sex.
Doesn’t want to have sex you say? Not possible.
Well, sometimes it is possible. Whether she’s got her period and doesn’t feel like it, or she’d rather go to the movies this afternoon, there are times when no means no.
Let’s face it, no sex is better than bad sex.
Our advice in this situation is to first make sure she doesn’t mind your company. Ask her outright: “Do you want to be left alone for a while?” If she says yes, go away. Take a walk. Go shopping. Hide yourself away and read a book or watch TV.
But if she wants to be with you and just doesn’t want to have sex, be nice to her. Ask her what she wants to do—maybe she’d like to take that walk with you by her side.
Offer to take her to dinner. Let her pick the restaurant, let her talk, let her have what she wants.
Listen to her. Is she sad? Is something bothering her? Or maybe she just didn’t feel like sex and is otherwise just fine. Respect her wishes.
And if she changes her mind later, all the better for you! Seduced by kindness and genuine love and affection is a bonus for you both.
If she makes no moves in the direction of wanting sex, so be it. Don’t try to induce sex just because you’ve wined and dined her.
Send your comments to christi@fatalemedia.com. Special thanks to our friend Anna for this sex tip.
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Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In “Ask Fanny,” an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.
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Dear Fanny:
If a woman has had a hysterectomy does she still retain a g-spot and if so is it harder to find?
Don
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Dear Don,
Hysterectomies are the second most common medical procedure in the United States. Most hysterectomies remove only 2/3 of the uterus. Radical hysterectomies can remove the entire uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries, including the ligament and lymph glands that support the area. As we know, the female prostate (G-spot) is sprinkled along the urethral canal. Since the urethral canal is left untouched, I can only assume that the female prostate is left intact.
Hysterectomy can cause premature menopause in many women who have this surgery, because the production of the hormones progesterone and estrogen decrease. It is suspected that the G-spot, or female prostate, could be an estrogen-driven organ, much like the male prostate is androgen-driven. However, I have noticed very little decrease in the amount of female ejaculate in the many menopausal women I have spoken to and taught.
Beyond this information, very little is known. At this time, few OB/GYN's are even aware there is a female prostate, let alone aware of its activity due to hysterectomy. On the other hand, there are some doctors who have known about the G-spot, or female prostate, for some time and are finally beginning to include it in their discussions with their patients. Considering that this is the state of awareness in the medical profession, it should be no surprise to hear that no studies have been done on whether female ejaculate or the female prostate is affected by hysterectomies. Therefore, I feel unqualified to make any suggestions, and I have not talked to women who ejaculated before and after hysterectomy to be able to give any anecdotal information at this time.
If there are women readers of this newsletter who would like to contribute their experiences with female ejaculation before and after hysterectomy, I'd be happy to hear from you.
Fanny
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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
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