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Fatale Media Newsletter August 2004 |
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In This Issue:
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Vacation = Good Sex
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Dear Friend,
Living in the U.S., it's hard not to get wrapped up in the politics of the day—two political conventions are upon us; the bombings in Iraq continue; the news media is at a fever pitch.
But it's August! Time to relax, go on vacation and have some good sex. We're talking really good sex, the kind where you can lounge about all afternoon, take a little nap afterwards, then head out for a sultry, summer walk on the beach or through town, grab a bit to eat.
If you're like us, you may take the laptop with you, but so what? Check the e-mail in the morning first thing, and then you've got all day to do nothing.
Our friends with children leave them home for a weekend with a babysitter and head off to the mountains or the beach, or they go somewhere "family friendly." This, in our opinion, is a misnomer. Because "family friendly" means free daycare! The kids have supervised activities while the moms (or dads) get to go have sex in the hotel room. What a deal!
Even a weekend away can be tonic to the senses. When we lived in New York City, we used to "borrow" friends' cabins for weekends when they weren't using their places. One place in particular had a TV with a VCR, and we'd always bring a stash of sexy videos to get in the mood. Not that we needed much encouragement!
So we urge you to enjoy this last month of summer, relax and have yourself some sumptuous good sex.
Yours in good sex and love,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
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In the March issue of Sex Tips, we asked Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com director Barbara DeGenevieve to share some tips on shooting dirty movies with us.
Since we extended the deadline for Fatale's Real Lesbian Sex contest, we thought we'd offer some more tips on directing your own amateur porno.
What's the best way to get real lesbians to have sex in front of a camera? This question comes up again and again.
Nan Kinney, Fatale's executive producer, says, "The easiest way is to ask your friends to be in your new video. Explain to them that it will be explicit and require full nudity."
If your friends balk at the idea, then you have your answer. They might ask you why you're shooting a dirty movie, and you can tell them it's for a contest, or it's an art project, whatever you're comfortable with. If they're really your friends, though, you should be able to discuss it openly.
If all your friends want to be in your new movie, then hold an audition. Or ask for clips, if any of them have been in a dirty video before. Even a home movie will do.
Say you only want to have four people in your flick, and you've got ten friends lined up, then set up a schedule where you can watch them have sex. Get them in your bedroom two by two, if you're looking for couples. If you need a solo, ask them to do a strip-tease or masturbate for you. Then make your decision.
"If you want to be in your own film," Nan says, "you can hire a cameraperson or ask a friend to shoot you—either alone or with your girlfriend or with a group of friends, like Ms. Hussy did in Afterschool Special."
Do you have to pay your friends to be in your video? No. You can feed them. You can offer to give them copies of the video when it's done. You can offer to share any royalties or prize money if your video wins. You can treat them to a night on the town. Whatever you can agree on, but cash up front isn't your only option.
Remember that whoever is in your dirty movie must be 18 or older, have two forms of identification (including one with a photo) and sign a release that you keep and must submit if you enter a contest. We've posted our release at Fatale. You can simply print it out and use it as your own form.
E-mail your tips and tricks to christi@fatalemedia.com. You could be published here!
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Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In "Ask Fanny," an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.
Dear Fanny,
I think my wife ejaculated before, and we're trying to do it again with the help of How to Female Ejaculate. But can being too self-conscious keep you from ejaculating? We're trying so hard it seems we're both thinking about it too much. Any advice?
Mike in Ohio
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Dear Mike,
Many factors need to come together in order for a woman to ejaculate with her partner during lovemaking. And yes, the biggest hindrance to ejaculating easily—for the first time and over time—is pressure.
Being pressured to ejaculate by a partner or putting pressure on oneself will shut down ejaculating rather than encourage it.
It's easy to put the pressure on, because experiencing female ejaculation is so wonderful and satisfying—truly another world can open up in sharing intimacy with a partner. Who wouldn't want to eagerly try to obtain this "Holy Grail" of women's sexual pleasure!
The way to handle the excitement and desire so that you can succeed is to realize that it WILL happen over time. The reason it takes time is because both partners are getting acquainted with the g-spot: how it feels and how it works, via new techniques (that will lose their clumsiness over time) and a few first experiences of female ejaculation (that teach the body and the participants). All this takes time to integrate.
Trying too hard is about covering up, as you said, self-consciousness. The most difficult aspect in learning how to female ejaculate is Letting Go. The best way to learn to let go is to practice the exercises for awakening the G-Spot in my book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.
Since the G-spot is the female prostate, its natural state is one of ultra sensitivity. Because the urge to ejaculate often feels like the urge to pee, women have shut down the sensitivity of their G-spot and have physically and emotionally distanced themselves from its sexual pleasure and desire. Reawakening the G-Spot and female erotic pleasure requires relaxation rather than the usual tensing that accompanies orgasm.
Breathe into the sensations of erotic touch and pleasure, and "send" these sensations throughout the body. One relaxes the vagina, rather than tensing it, as we've learned to do with clitorial orgasms and sex in general. It's the reverse with the g-spot—relax and breathe, drop down into the physical and emotional sensations and avoid the fantasies and vibrator. Your body opens to pleasure and to your partner and to your feelings of love and desire.
This is a powerful door to deeper intimacy and sharing between yourselves...a place where love and trust must reside so one can feel safe in the vulnerability that is surrender to another. It is connection, rather than technique, that is the heart of the G-spot and female ejaculation.
I would need to ask you more details about your relationship and what you are doing exactly to arouse and reinvigorate the g-spot. I offer Female Ejaculation Telephone Coaching Sessions. One session can usually uncork the problem and allow a breakthrough. Visit my website at www.deborahsundahl.com if you would like a personal coaching session by telephone to incorporate female ejaculate in your lovemaking.
Fanny
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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
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In each issue of Fatale News, we want to hear your ideas, opinions, comments.
Sexual Intelligence is a monthly newsletter from sex educator and renowned speaker Dr. Marty Klein, Ph.D. His newsletter, Sexual Intelligence, is a fascinating, outspoken rant about anything to do with sex.
Here's a quote from his latest newsletter:
"In the latest [U.S.] government effort to curb 'indecency' on the airwaves, the Senate overwhelmingly approved raising the maximum fine for broadcasters and on-air personalities to $275,000 per incident. In a desperate attempt to distract Americans from its almost total lack of concern about children's healthcare and education, our leaders can proudly show their commitment to protecting children from something worse than TB or dangerous schools--exposure to toilet jokes."
We subscribed immediately. We hope you do too.
Keep those e-mails coming! Write to christi@fatalemedia.com, and please do put “Fatale” in the subject line.
Until then, happy summer.
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
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