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Fatale Media Newsletter August 2003
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In This Issue:
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Summer Lovin'
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Dear Friend,
When August suddenly rolls around, it's as if the air changes, and we're ready for vacation. Our friends in Europe, many of them, take a very civilized holiday for the month, usually by the beach.
One year ago we were shooting Take Her Down: Lesbian Erotic Oil Wrestling Party, up in the mountains of Santa Fe, New Mexico. Not much water there, but we managed to find a swimming pool. What a miracle!
Under a brilliant blue sky, with platters of yummy pasta salad ready to be served for the lunch break, no matter what the girls just couldn't stay out of the pool.
Sondra Goodwin, the director, finally gave in, and what unfolded was a totally unscripted swimming pool scene that became the opening of the video. She told the camerawomen to take it away...and the girls to take it off...
When we couldn't escape the city in the summertime, we'd go up on the roof in New York late at night and make love for hours, the city lights spread out before us.
No matter where you are when you read this, we hope you're enjoying that delicious, soft summer air.
Happy August.
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
| To see pictures and read more about Take Her Down! and read Sondra's account of the making of Take Her Down!,
click here.
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Dressing up can be fun, scary and enormously sexy, if you play your cards right. Depending on your level of risk-taking, you can stage a private, just-the-two-of-you evening at home, or you can take it away and head out into public in your outfits.
As with most sex play, it's best to discuss beforehand what you each want out of the scene. If you love the idea of wearing peekaboo lingerie, and your partner wants to stroll to your favorite outdoor café dressed as a police sergeant, you might have to compromise. You could wear a sheer backless top à la Sex in the City, and your honey might want to opt for an Army military uniform.
Around Halloween or Mardi Gras, nearly every department store and five-and-dime has costumes for sale. Other times of the year (like now), you can purchase or rent costumes and uniforms either from your local costume shop or online. Some sex shops have prepackaged role-play kits, but we find it much more fun—and authentic—to hunt through the Salvation Army thrift store, or up in an attic that hasn't been cleaned out in a while.
Use your imagination! If you always wanted to be a nurse but never made it to nursing school, try it. Or put on some leather chaps and a jacket, chains at your side, and head on over to the local bar for the evening. Your favorite movie scenes can be good starting points, too, whether you fancy Tallulah Bankhead or Spike Lee. Accessorize with wigs, makeup, jewelry, shoes to match your outfit.
And don't neglect what's underneath, either. Is G.I. Joe going to have a nice pair of Calvin's under there, or a lacy thong? It's all up to you how to play the experience.
For first-timers, role-playing and dress-up can be scary as well as sexy. We find it best to make a date, and stick to it. Don't plan a whole weekend of Women's Prison if you've never explored bondage before. Begin instead with the interrogation, and decide ahead of time when to free the "suspect" on her own recognizance.
The gals at Fatale have played around with dressing up in Afterschool Special (schoolgirls), Safe Is Desire (nurses) and Dress Up for Daddy (uniforms and wigs).
One of the best dress-up resources we've found is Costumes.org, where you can read the history of all sorts of costumes (military, religious, school uniforms and more), how to make your own costumes, lots of links to places that sell and rent costumes.
Tell us your favorite tips and tricks. E-mail christi@fatalemedia.com. You could be published here!
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Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In "Ask Fanny," an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.
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Dear Fanny,
My girlfriend and I both watched the video How To Female Ejaculate: Find Your G-Spot separately, and we both think it's not very explicit on the ejaculation. To be honest and quite frank: I never saw any of the women ejaculate, although I'm willing to believe they experienced real orgasms. I'm quite sure the leather-straps-girl did not ejaculate and that she in fact urinated. Again I'm willing to believe she experienced pleasure, but still.
Signed,
O.T., The Netherlands
Dear O.T.,
Female ejaculation can be incredibly profuse in some women. In addition, it is emitted from the body through the urethral canal. Therefore, it can appear to those unfamiliar to female ejaculation as urination.
Female ejaculate is produced by the female prostate, which is imbedded in the wall of the urethral canal. The female prostate's ducts, therefore, secrete the ejaculate into the urethral canal. In both women and men, ejaculate is emitted through the urethra.
Female ejaculate is not white and creamy like male ejaculate, however. It's watery rather than slick, and clear. It has no smell the majority of the time. Sometimes it can smell faintly of urine, depending the phase of your menstrual cycle.
Female ejaculate's chemical consistency is mostly glucose and prostatic fluid. Hormones and minerals are suspected to be present in the ejaculate as well, and to date scientists have identified the hormone serotonin and the mineral zinc.
The amount of ejaculate varies from unnoticeable amounts to up to 1 1/2 cups--the amount you saw the "leather-straps-girl" in my video emit.
Since all women, like all men, have a prostate gland, technically then, all women can ejaculate. Most women repress the urge to ejaculate, because the sensation of needing to ejaculate is very similar to the urge to pee. Since peeing during sex is very taboo, most women clamp down on the ejaculate urge, sending it retrograde into the bladder. Others do not ejaculate noticeably due to weak PC muscles (which aid in expelling the ejaculate), or their g-spot (the female prostate) not being sufficiently stimulated.
Not all women need to have an orgasm to ejaculate. This is because ejaculation and orgasm are two different things; although the sensation of ejaculating can be pleasant, it is not orgasmic. Men, too, can have an orgasm and not ejaculate, or ejaculate and not have an orgasm. Currently, most women have an orgasm and don't ejaculate, and men most always ejaculate with their orgasms.
Fanny
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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
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In each issue of Fatale News, we want to hear your ideas, opinions, comments. Last month we told you about a new study reported in the New York Times that said straight women and lesbians are just as aroused watching videos of two women having sex as they are by watching a man and a woman have sex.
We asked: Is this true for you?
A reader who requested anonymity e-mailed:
"I always thought it was just me, but now I know that other women can feel the same way. To me it doesn't matter, as I watch a video, who is performing the oral sex. It probably feels the same either way. If one had one's eyes closed, one would never know the difference. I would rather have that than intercourse. It is just so much softer and the orgasm is much more explosive. I would like to try it once in my lifetime, I just wouldn't know how to make it happen. I would probably be too nervous to go through with it. I live with my boyfriend so it would be tricky. Anyway, I am curious as to the thoughts of others."
Let's take this reader up on her challenge. What do you think of oral sex with a man or a woman? Are there any differences in imagination or in fact (for those of you who have had both)?
Send an e-mail to christi@fatalemedia.com and you may see your words published here next month!
Until then, happy summer!
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
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