 | 
|
Fatale Media Newsletter June 2004 |
|
|
In This Issue:
|
Happy 20th Anniversary, On Our Backs!
|
|
Fisting is one of the most intimate sexual acts between two women. Some women love to get fisted, some women love to fist, but no matter what, the first time between two partners always marks a new level of intimacy and trust in a relationship. In our experience, every subsequent time reawakens that deep connection.
You must have a lot of water-based lube nearby and you must have an impeccable manicure. If there's any doubt about the state of your nails, or even a callous, wear a latex glove. Gloves are good because they get real slippery...and that's what you want: Real slippery.
Some women talk about their sexual desires and fantasies in advance. Maybe you want to plan a date where you explore fisting, but if it doesn't happen on schedule, know that there will be other opportunities. And if one of you really doesn't want to, don't.
The fistee must be ready, willing and wide open. Lying on her back is a good position for fisting.
Begin with one or two lubed fingers while making love. Don't forget the "preliminaries" such as kissing and cooing and maybe going down on her first.
Sometimes an orgasm or two before any fisting takes place is a good idea. Your intimate connection will already be established, and she should be wide open.
Gradually slip a third and then a fourth finger inside her. If at any point she's in pain, slowly pull back to the point she was comfortable. She can get hurt if she's not open enough, so listen to her. Talk.
Fisting is a very slow process, so don't yank out of her fast or plunge into her fast. Make sure all actions are slow.
When she's ready, slip your thumb down so your hand makes a sort of wedge. As you ease in and your knuckles approach her opening, she should let you know if she's okay and if she wants you to continue. Add more lube at any time.
As your hand enters her completely, roll your hand into a fist, with your thumb inside your cupped fingers. Let her really feel the intensity of having a hand inside her.
Your lover might like a gentle pumping action she'll feel when you squeeze and relax your fist inside her.
Some women can't orgasm while being fisted; some women can. Don't worry about it. Fisting is much more about intimacy and sexual connection, which make fisting completely worth it.
E-mail your tips and tricks to christi@fatalemedia.com. You could be published here!
|
|
|
 |
|
Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In "Ask Fanny," an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.
Plus, check out Deborah's all-new DVD, Female Ejaculation for Couples, featured in the June issue of Esquire.
..............................................
Dear Fanny,
I heard that after not having sex for a while the vagina goes back to its original virgin tightness. Is this true? If so, how many months does it take?
After childbirth does the vagina return to its original tightness?
With old age does the vagina lose tightness?
Need to Know in OH
..............................................
Dear Need to Know in Ohio,
Have you heard about Kegel exercises? These exercises were developed by a gynecologist named Dr. Arnold Kegel in the 1940s as a way to combat urinary stress incontinence by strengthening the pubococcygeus (poo - bow - cox - a - gee - us) muscles, or PC muscles. The exercises do more than that, however. They tighten the vaginal muscles, which in turn creates more powerful orgasms. There's more! Strong and healthy PC muscles are necessary to ejaculate—in both men and women.
So, to answer your questions specifically:
1) Having sex strengthens these muscles because you use them to squeeze the penis or sex toy. They also get exercised when you have an orgasm—they are what cause the contraction of the vagina during an orgasm. Therefore, not having sex would, technically, make them weaker and therefore the vagina more lax.
2) After childbirth the vagina can return to its normal tightness in a few months if one resumes sexual activity and one is young. That process can be cut to one month by doing Kegel exercises twice a day for a month.
3) The vagina does not have to lose its elasticity in old age any more than muscles in other parts of the body. I know women who are 70-80 years old who threw out their walkers after three months in the weights room! Therefore, powerful orgasms and healthy vaginal muscles at that age are completely possible with Kegel exercises. As our culture has learned, exercise can create almost miraculous changes in our health and physical agility and strength—and the vagina is no exception!
How does one do Kegel exercises? In my book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, I have a large section on how to measure your PC muscles and how to exercise them.
Begin by identifying your PC muscles by pretending to shut off the flow of urine and/or by pretending to squeeze something in your vagina. Did you just do that now? Well, that's the PC muscles! Squeeze and relax at least 30 times, twice a day. Remembering to relax fully is as important and squeezing. Work up to 100 times twice a day for two weeks, then slack off to four times a week to maintain PC strength and flexibility. There are vaginal barbells you can get for Kegel exercises at www.tantra.com for added weight. Belly dancing is great for keeping healthy PC muscles toned and in shape.
In their famous book, The G-Spot, authors, researchers and scientists Beverly Whipple, John Perry and Alice Ladas report that weak PC muscles can contribute to difficulty in childbirth, urinary stress incontinence and inability to achieve orgasm. Tense PC muscles can cause bladder infections and menstrual cramping.
Dr. John Perry has developed the Fria Biofeedback Perineometer for correcting urinary stress incontinence—an updated version of Dr. Kegel's machine. The Fria is now used in many urologists' offices and is like a weight machine that gives you feedback on how the muscles are developing and how to maximize your sexercising efforts!
We need to not ignore what's "under the hood," girls! Keep your sexual parts strong, healthy and tight all your life!
Fanny
..............................................
Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
|
|
|
|
|
Turn Me Up Over and On is a Hit!
Smut magazine, a hot little number out of Canada and on newsstands now, writes in a stellar review: "Turn Me Up Over and On is so hot, it sizzles....The story flows gently from one orgasm to the next, never pausing, relentlessly moving through a rhythm of sex, lust and, indeed, love....Ava and Luke are hot, they love their job as sex goddesses, and it shows."
On Our Backs has a knockout review in which Greta Christina writes: "It's a half-hour porno tape of two lesbians having themselves some lesbian sex. And it's grand! Beautiful, giddy, arousing....Bottom line: simple and superb."
|
|
|
|
|
In each issue of Fatale News, we want to hear your ideas, opinions, comments.
This month, we wanted to let you know about the wonderful sex columnist named Sasha, who has written a cool piece on lesbian porn for two Canadian papers.
"The Politically Correct Pornographer" appears in the Eye and "Pursuing PC Porn" appears in the Montreal Mirror. They're both in English, and they're both the same piece, so take your pick!
Keep those e-mails coming! Write to christi@fatalemedia.com, and please do put "Fatale" in the subject line.
Until then, Happy Gay Pride. Have a wonderful June.
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
