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Fatale Media Newsletter April 2005 |
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In This Issue:
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Earth is Crammed with Heaven
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Dear Friend,
It’s springtime here in the Northern Hemisphere. Despite the snow and rain through much of North America, drought in the Pacific Northwest, the daffodils are coming up, the hyacinths, even the tulips.
Flirting is a subject that doesn’t get much airplay, even though we see enough flirting on TV shows and batted eyelashes batting their way into our minds. That’s because real flirting—the kind that makes your heart flutter and think, “Maybe, maybe this is the one”—is so hard to come by.
On Easter three people brought us flowers. A friend from New York arrived first with a potted plant sprouting beautiful lavender gray campanula. A porn star brought a potted cactus with three thistle-like hot pink blooms. A blues singer, a New Zealander by birth, arrived with cut pink and white flowers we put in a vase.
The weather was warm and breezy. After brunch we ate chocolate bunnies.
The conversation started simply enough—something about a National Geographic special on TV—and suddenly it blossomed into a discovery of shared world travels, stories of women in India carving toothpicks, walking from New Zealand around the world, a brief discussion of the Huns, the Crusades, the Pope, Terri Schiavo, living simply, what it means to live without electricity.
All the while, two women who’d never met before, the porn star and the blues singer, found themselves drawn to each other. In fact they were flirting. Pretty serious conversation for flirtations, you might say, yet there they were.
This was no love-at-first-sight encounter like ours was. In fact our anniversary was exactly eight years ago April 4th. We’re still in love and couldn’t be happier.
But it struck us that from underneath the surface of this Easter Sunday conversation, amazing stories and experiences bubbled up and fueled the flirtation. It was magic to watch.
A line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning arrived in an e-mail not long after:
“Earth is crammed with heaven.”
Yours in good sex and love,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
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Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In “Ask Fanny,” an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.
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Hi, Fanny,
My name is Lisa (called Lis by my love). I would love to know more about Gspot. I have your book, which was given to me by my love. I would love to experience Gspot. Your book is called Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. I love the book and it is very very informative...and easy to understand.
I am reading your book page by page and I even passed your score tests about the PC and did the PC muscle flexibility. I found my Gspot...but I can't seem to ejaculate. I tried to ejaculate without orgasm. All I got was wetness and the urge to pee.
Before I even knew what Gspot was...I may have ejaculated or not. Because during masturbation or during sex, I was always wet and the sheets would have stains. Even not when masturbating or having sex, I was always wet when I get arousal...I do gushing. Why is that? It is so awkward but my love loves it. And I love it so I would like to gather all the tools to ejaculate.
I hope I make any sense at all.
Lis
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Dear Lis,
You are a diligent student! You followed the instructions and then you “got wetness and the urge to pee.”
CONGRATULATIONS! The urge to pee is, as I said in my book, the urge to ejaculate—assuming you have truly aroused yourself and stimulated your G-spot to fill with ejaculate fluid.
What is unclear is: did you get the “urge to pee” first or the “wetness” first? Also, it would be helpful to know if the “wetness” you normally have is clear and very wet, as if one did wet her pants, or if it is vaginal lubricant that is more creamy and slick? But that question aside, judging from your letter where you say, “I was always wet and the sheets would have stains” and “I do gushing, even not when masturbating or during sex,” I believe it is highly likely you may be one of the few women who ejaculate quite naturally.
In my book, I quote Regnier de Graaf, the 17th-century Dutch anatomist who is called the “father of the female prostate” because he dissected and diagramed it way back then. He said the female prostate fluid (female ejaculate), “in libidinous women, gushes out at the sight of a handsome man!” I've always loved that quote!
That quote embodies the true nature of feminine sexuality, which the G-spot and female ejaculation represent, and that is the ability to be so connected to the “heart” of our sexuality (our G-spots) that we can let that fountain flow just by being turned on! No lengthy stimulation or penetration required!
If you are that able to “let your feminine fountain flow,” then you are a Goddess! Goddess Aphrodite no less, who stood for sexual pleasure as a wonderful, natural and sacred thing.
We hear about how natural sex is quite often these days, and may think we are open and loving our bodies, but that is a tricky thing because the taboos of shame and guilt from our modern culture go so very deep.
Therefore, it is ALWAYS beneficial to really ask ourselves: "How deeply do I really believe in the beauty of my body and lovemaking with my partner? How much do I still hold back because I believe deep down that my body and sex is ugly or bad?"
It's astonishing how really deep those thoughts about our lovely female sexual nature can go. Keep gushing, Lis, and hold the bar for the rest of us!
Fanny
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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
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