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Fatale Media Newsletter March 2004
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In This Issue:
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Love Is All It Is
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Dear Friend,
Who knew that the Massachusetts State Supreme Court ruling on
gay marriage would begin a rage across the U.S., from San Francisco to Albuquerque to New Paltz, New York.
Imagine our surprise to see Raven and Butch, stars of Take Her Down! Lesbian Erotic Oil Wrestling Party, on the front page of The Santa Fe New Mexican on February 21, 2004. They had gotten married the previous day. They were one of 26 couples married that day in Albuquerque before the weddings were halted.
We were thrilled, and so happy for them. Since then, three legal organizations have met with the couples: Coalition for Equality in New Mexico, Lambda Legal in New York and the National Center for Lesbian Rights. Because New Mexico law states that marriage is a contract between "two agreeing parties," with no mention of gender, the marriages are legal.
On Valentine's Day of this year, Butch said to Renae, "If it's ever legal in New Mexico to get married, will you marry me?" They had privately committed to each other four years prior. When The Albuquerque Journal ran a story the morning of February 20th about the County Clerk issuing licenses to same-sex marriage, Butch was ecstatic, and yelled down to Renae, "Let's go get married!"
Renae popped on a black cowboy hat with red flames blazing down the side and called it "my wedding hat." And yes, they cried at the ceremony, so happy to be recognized by the law. Afterwards, people cheered as they left the courthouse.
"We've always said, treat each other like gold," Renae says. "And now it's even more so. We're closer than ever as a family." The couple has three girls aged 14, 11 and 8. "The kids have been great, and so proud of us, but I tell them, 'It's mama's fight, not yours.'" Still, there have been some mean-spirited comments, but Renae replies, "All this mess just because we love each other and want to get married."
Have the orgasms been better since they got married?
"The orgasms have been extremely better!" Renae says. "Because of being married, and Butch's excitement. We were ready to go do it, and she'll be with me for life."
For all of you, dear readers, who have taken the plunge—gay or straight, bi or pan or trans—we offer our deepest congratulations. Love is all it is.
Yours in good sex and love,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
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Check out the Santa Fe New Mexican article and picture of Raven and Butch
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Barbara DeGenevieve has been shooting sex videos featuring lesbians and transgendered people for years. As one of the founders of ssspread.com, which sadly closed its doors in February, she has videotaped hundreds of hot and sexy scenes for the ssspread.com Web site.
In 2002 Fatale partnered with ssspread.com to produce Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com and plan to create more coproductions in the future.
Here Barbara offers tips for making your own dirty home movies:
The wonders of modern technology have made it so easy to makeyour own porn. If you have or can borrow a camera and tripod, frame the scene for the farthest boundaries of your movement. If you have a "Night Vision" setting on your camera, you won't need lights. The effect is eerie but very beautiful. If you don't, make the room as bright as you can and go at it. Make sure your batteries are charged and don't forget to set the camera to "record." (Don't laugh. It happens to the best of us.) If you're into cinematic drama, move in toward the camera occasionally. It will give the effect of a zoom. Try some other shots like holding the camera up in the air for a self-portrait or pointing at a partner. Pass it off to your partner or put in on a table or the bed. Don't worry about the camera shake — it's very "in" as a shooting technique. If you don't like it, you can always play it in slo-mo.
To avoid having to be so aware of the camera, have a friend who likes to watch do the shooting. If they are into more than watching, then follow the steps above.
If neither you nor your friends have a camera, go to your local electronics store and slap down a credit card. You might as well get a tripod and some blank tapes while you're at it. You now have 30 days to shoot your dirty movie. After you read the camera manual, follow instructions in the first and/or second paragraphs. On the 29th day (I always play it safe when it come to things like this) return the camera and tripod and tell them you just didn't like the way it handled. You'll get a full refund minus the tapes.
One more tip. If you're into living dangerously and shoot outdoors, take someone with you to stand watch. Establish a signal to alert you that someone's coming.
Make sure you don't get carried away and get completely naked. It's hard to get dressed quickly. If you're using a strap-on, you can pull your pants half way down your ass, but don't go any farther. If you're a femme, wear a dress or skirt and no panties. The top of the dress or blouse should have front buttons or a zipper for easy access and quick cover up. If you do get caught, just say you're an art student making a film for your class project. It works every time.
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Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In "Ask Fanny," an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.
Hi Fanny,
I just read a letter from another reader, telling of her experience at a Tantra retreat. I am interested in attending one of these retreats as well. I am a 48-year-old femme, and I must say, sometimes my sex life leaves something to be desired. I'm hoping that by going to one of these retreats, I'll be able to "recharge" myself; thereby inciting renewed interest by my partner also. Thank you for your reply.
Mara
USA
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Dear Mara,
There are some wonderful Tantra or sacred sex retreats that are run by women for women around the country. The Body Electric school started this unique form of sharing sexual energy with oneself and one's partner via learning how to heighten erotic sensation through touch and visual awareness. Their coordinator of women's programs is Chris Ingenito. The message line for women's programs is +1-510-869-4383. They offer eight weekend workshops per year in four cities: Oakland, Seattle, Atlanta and a country retreat setting near Albany, NY. These weekend workshops, called "The Body Erotic," are an entry-level prerequisite for their weeklong retreat "Dancing the Fire Within" at the Body Electric's retreat center in Northern California called Wildwood.
Isa Magdalena was the first teacher to introduce workshops for women adapted from Joseph Kramer's work with gay men at the New School of Erotic Touch. Isa is currently writing a book called Tales of a Temple Whore about her 20 years of sex work with groups and individuals. Isa's stories share her vision of a transgressing paradigm of sex and gender that embraces both sacred and profane. You can find out more about her book and her Sex Coaching on her web site, www.xtasia.info. Isa expects to offer workshops for women again in the future.
Pamela Madison started the Women's Sexuality Center in Santa Barbara, CA, ten years ago. She is a Tantra teacher and noticed there were no retreats for lesbians. Her workshops give an overview of the daily practices and sacred rituals of Tantric sex for women loving women. Her dynamic overview of ancient techniques will show you how to open vital energy centers, create a sacred space for Tantric lovemaking and use sexual energy as spiritual rocket fuel for your relationship. She has been offering this retreat for lesbians now for seven years. There is an intro to the workshop in San Francisco on July 27th and a weekend retreat scheduled for October in the Bay Area. Women come from all over the country and Canada attend the retreat. Pamela says the big thing they stress in the workshop is the daily connection with one's partner. She's found it's the one thing with Tantra that helps a couple stays together longer. Visit www.womensexualitycenter.com or call +1-805-563-1071 for more information.
LoveJourney: The Healing Path of Tantra for Women by Evalena Rose, M.A., offers training to lesbian and bisexual women in the ancient arts of connection and intimacy. An amazing community of women has gathered around this work and continue to practice erotic and Tantric arts together. Her weekend workshop, "Evoking Divine Passion: The Joys of Tantra for Women," April 16-18 in Santa Rosa, CA, helps women open to their full sexual passion. It is a wonderful introduction to the joys of Tantra through sacred, healing exchanges that deepen connection with yourself, others, and all of life. Energy-moving breathwork, movement, and heartfelt rituals expand our capacity for intimacy and reclaim our sensuality. Evalena teaches how to move kundalini energy, raise sexual energy and activate ecstatic states, as well as developing skills for safe boundaries and healthy communication. "Unfolding Sacred Relationships" is an ongoing six-month group from October to March. You can find more information here: http://www.tantraforwomen.com or by calling +1-707-528-1980 or +1-415-457-1904.
Tantra.com provides a stellar list of retreats around the country. Though these are primarily heterosexual, the Web site is an excellent resource for anything related to Tantra and sacred sex. They offer books, videos and other products on their Web site also.
Fanny
Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
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In each issue of Fatale News, we want to hear your ideas, opinions, comments. This month, we thought we'd give you a pithy quote.
Bill Maher, host of HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher:
"New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the Equal Protection Clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex."
Until next time, we wish you dazzling hot sex!
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
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