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Fatale Media Newsletter January 2005 |
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In This Issue:
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Fatale Media Celebrates 20 Years of “Guerilla Porn”
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Dear Friend,
This month marks the 20th anniversary of Fatale Media, what Nan calls “guerilla porn,” women taking control of the camera and shooting who we are in bed and what we really look like and how we really have sex.
Private Pleasures and Shadows were Nan and Deb’s first foray into lesbian porn, filmed at the same time with the rough-and-tumble butch/femme couple Teri and Caerage. The titles are now available back-to-back on one tape.
Fisting figured prominently in both those flicks, and that’s why they still sell. Yes, we’ve made some lesbian porn videos with fisting since—most recently, Afterschool Special—but you still don’t see a lot of fisting in porn. Especially in mainstream porn.
It’s illegal in many regions of the U.S., that’s one reason.
Why?
Fisting is one of the most intimate acts between two women. To have your whole hand curled tight inside a woman is still an act of defiance, and of beauty and love.
It is one of the most remarkable experiences we’ve ever had. It takes inordinate trust.
We don’t know why fisting is considered obscene in some states, except that there must be a perceived threat. Of the devil? To heterosexuals who can’t imagine why someone would put a fist in another’s body? Clearly fisting pushes sexual boundaries, and that scares some folks.
Twenty years ago, there was no real lesbian porn outside of On Our Backs, which Nan and Deborah, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, started. What existed then was known by the same name as it is now: girl/girl.
Since then, other fabulous lesbian pornographers have followed Fatale’s lead—S.I.R. Video, Passion Fruit and others. Straight women took the camera in their own hands too, Annie Sprinkle and Candida Royalle, among others.
We’ve got a lot planned for this year, so stay tuned. We’ll let you know what we’re up to, and where and when.
Happy New Year!
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
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Wintertime is the perfect time to sit by the fire and play footsie, or dine by candlelight on a cold night. If you’re like us and light candles every night—for dinner, or just because it looks nice and feels romantic—then maybe you’ve thought of playing with candle wax.
The main thing to remember if you want to explore what candle wax feels like on bare flesh is that the higher up you hold the candle, the cooler the wax will be when it touches skin.
Use plain unscented tapers, not pillars or votives.
It’s best to begin by having your lover lie on her belly, then hold the candle high above her hips or butt, the fleshy places on her are best. And it’s best to save the upper thighs for later, after she’s gotten used to the sensation of the hot wax dripping.
Go slow, one drip at a time, and talk to her about how it feels. You can also test it out on yourself first too, on your forearm or on your thigh above your knee. If you drip wax on a hairy part of her body, know that the hair will rip out (and probably hurt) when you later remove the wax.
If you’re the bottom and want to “get waxed,” remember to breathe deep and talk to your lover. If the first drop or two are too hot, say so. Relax your butt, too, and really allow the sensations—like pinpricks at first—to penetrate.
As you get more adventurous, try dripping wax on her breasts, down her belly and around her upper thighs. We don’t recommend wax play directly on her clitoris unless you’re well advanced in the art.
Add a blindfold to the erotic play and you can really have fun!
More sex tips next month!
E-mail your tips and tricks to christi@fatalemedia.com. You could be published here!
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Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In “Ask Fanny,” an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.
Hi Fanny,
I have just ordered your DVD How to Female Ejaculate to help us find the heights of pleasure in our lovemaking. Many years ago shortly after we were married we did experience this without knowing it. I just thought my wife was peeing after stimulation. In those days we were young and innocent and didn't know such things. I now realise my wife was ejaculating although she was embarrassed as she thought she had peed. I didn't tell her that I found the experience a turn-on.
I am sure that if we both see this video she will understand it is nothing to feel embarrassed about and we can work together to achieve some joint pleasure. After we have experimented we will give you feedback.
One point I would like advice on, which is loosely connected, is the stimulation of my prostate, which I am told gives an intense feeling and can bring on a strong climax. I know how it can be done from articles (i.e. with finger or dildo). However, the prostate is a delicate organ and I don't want any damage done to it.
So are there ways to do it correctly, and more importantly, are there ways that can cause damage (i.e. by putting too much pressure on it, etc.)?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Regards
Valerie and Nick
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Dear Valerie and Nick,
Your experience with female ejaculation occurring early on in a sexual relationship and being mistaken for peeing is unfortunately a common one. My heart goes out to so many couples whose lovemaking has been diminished due to the silence around female ejaculation. Consequently, I am happy you found my DVD, How to Female Ejaculate: Find Your G-Spot, and will watch it.
Interestingly, female ejaculation also often occurs for the first time during a honeymoon or engagement. This is because of the warm feelings of love that are coursing through lovemaking. On the whole, women ejaculate without effort when they are feeling loved and emotionally secure. I am sure when you review the information and recall that first time she ejaculated after your wedding, you can bring back those memories of love and let the ejaculate flow freely again!
The male g-spot - the male prostate - is more similar to the female prostate than is currently understood. The female prostate has a different nerve than the clitoris and its orgasmic sensations are loving and satiating. The male prostate also has a different nerve than the penis, and a male g-spot orgasm is also loving and intense and deeply satisfying.
Loving massage of the male prostate will increase circulation as well as arouse the libido. Increase in circulation is healthful to the male prostate, and I recommend all men begin to explore and massage their prostates. As for concern of damaging the male prostate via direct stimulation with finger or sex toy, here is a good rule to follow: if it feels painful simply decrease the pressure.
The female g-spot - the female prostate - is also by nature an ultrasensitive organ just like the male prostate. The female prostate is typically unknowingly treated roughly due to the way we make love in our culture - hard pressure and intense stroking by the penis during intercourse.
As far as we know at this time, this rough treatment has not damaged the organ. Therefore, damage will unlikely occur to the male prostate unless the stimulation is very rough. Rough stimulation is not needed, because with both the male and female g-spots, a loving connection creates intense arousal with minimal stimulation.
You might want to discuss this with your doctor, should you feel pain each time your prostate is massaged.
A good instructional video on male prostate massage is Anal Massage for Relaxation and Pleasure by sexologist Joseph Kramer. I also recommend Bend Over Boyfriend for more techniques for stimulating the male prostate gland during anal sex.
Best wishes,
Fanny
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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
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In each issue of Fatale News, we want to hear your ideas, opinions, comments.
Evie wrote in about our piece on Butch/Femme porn in the November 2004 issue:
“To me straight women doing lesbian scenes is a turn off. They look very fake. I believe we need real lesbians, butch and femme, doing more porn not femme on femme. I'm a soft butch and I also have a hard time finding real lesbian porn here in New York City. Are butches afraid of making porn with their strap-ons? What is going on?”
Dear Evie,
We thought we’d let Nan answer this one, since she’s the butch in the family. Nan says:
“We’ve got a lot of titles featuring butch/femme couples—real butches, real femmes, most recently in Turn Me Up Over and On—and even some soft butch on femme titles...I’m thinking of Suburban Dykes, because Pepper is a soft butch. Dress Up for Daddy definitely plays on butch fantasies of the masculine ideal.”
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Butch/femme couple wanted for an upcoming Fatale porn shoot. Send a picture of you and your honey to Nan Kinney at Fatale Media, Inc. 1537 Fourth Street, Ste. 193, San Rafael, CA 94901 USA. Experience not required, but do send a short letter with your contact information telling us why you want to be in the porn flick. No e-mailed jpegs, please.
Happy New Year!
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
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