G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot. You may send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com; please put FE Q&A in the subject line.
Dear Fanny,
I think I have experienced a clear and odorless ejaculation before, but more noticeable are the ones where I feel they have an odor (only because of how my partner smells afterward). I think when it happens, I feel no control because of the intensity. I’m not sure if I’m pushing too hard when it happens. Like I said, I don’t think I have control when it happens. But I have “pushed” quite hard before and no fluid is released. There are other times I experience a vaginal orgasm though and nothing comes out! It seems to be at random.
Maybe it’s just best to empty my bladder before sex at all times and just leave it at that? I know that female ejaculation is a mixture of different fluids that could include urine.
All the best,
Stephanie
Dear Stephanie,
No, female ejaculate does not include urine. Female ejaculate is mostly prostatic fluid and some glucose.
The noticeable ejaculations would be the ones that smell like urine. So, let’s back up a step. To the non-urine ejaculations! You are ejaculating! Congratulations!
Now, going from there, you say that sometimes your ejaculate smells like urine, when you have an intense orgasm, and you don’t feel yourself ejaculate. That is when it smells mostly like urine, correct? Therefore, you are pushing hard, but not consciously. It’s just the nature of the intensity—in all likelihood.
With intensity and with pushing hard, or both at once, I have noticed that this is the situation when some women experience urine in their ejaculate. I am not sure why that is, but now I am suspecting weak PC muscles. Try doing more Kegel exercises for a few months and see if that helps.
Of course, if you are new to ejaculation, don’t worry about the urine right now; worry about understanding your body and this ejaculation phenomenon, okay? Cut yourself a little slack right now. I have noticed a type of personality that approaches female ejaculation with a dose of worry. Also, I’ve seen performance-oriented women who experience this urine in their ejaculate, and then they worry about it. Maybe relax a bit. Don’t try so hard.
As for pushing out and nothing comes out, many women cannot ejaculate with something in their vaginas! Is this happening? Also, you may be trying too hard, and this can cause a “misfire.”
Please be good to yourself and let this process unfold a bit more. Also, thank your partner for the amazing orgasms you are having that cause you to ejaculate, and ask him to be patient while you figure out the urine leakage problem.
Most of all, I want you to focus not on the bad, but the good. Focus on the times your ejaculate is clear and refreshing! Celebrate, please! For from this vantage point you will learn the most about how to clear up the other problem.
Best to you,
Deborah
Want to find out more about female ejaculation? Check out Deborah Sundahl’s popular sex-education DVD Female Ejaculation for Couples and her equally popular book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.