G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot. You may send your questions to askfanny at fatalemedia.com; please put FE Q&A in the subject line.
Dear Fanny,
I am one of those women who have been traumatized by the fact that I ejaculate when I climax. I am very multiorgasmic (as long as the man can hold out, I can continue climaxing) and by the time a lovemaking session ends, the whole bed is soaked!
At first I thought it might have been incontinence, yet the sensation was different than that of urination, and the liquid was totally clear and practically – if not completely – odorless.
As time went on, the experience became uncontrollable, more intense and much messier. I have gone to several doctors and once they get over their dismay, they tell me there is nothing to do about it and to just enjoy it.
Problem is, I am presently single, and I don’t know how or when to approach the subject with a man. I am embarrassed to be too candid up front, yet I would be even more mortified if they were turned off by sharing the experience or, worst yet, if they actually thought the liquid was as a result of incontinence.
Do you have any suggestions on how to approach the subject? I would love to once again be intimate with a man, but I let my fear of rejection hold me back. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Cee
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Cee,
Since you obviously have female ejaculation and multiple orgasms working in your sex life, it seems odd that you are not that free when it comes to telling your potential partners about your wonderful ability to be so orgasmic and free-flowing!
When you find a partner you want to have sex with, it is always a good idea to tell him upfront that you ejaculate. The best way to open up the topic with partners is to ask them if they have heard of female ejaculation. If they have not, then you need to tell them that is what you do and then see their reaction. If it is anything less than curious and somewhat enthusiastic, don’t go out with them again.
My guess is that you have had partners in the past who do not appreciate or express themselves sexually in the sophisticated and open way that you do. And that in fact they have put you down for it. I believe this is the problem, not what to say to a potential sex partner.
A woman just came to my workshop who learned to ejaculate for the first time. She went back to her new partner, who didn’t know about female ejaculation, and she did not ejaculate. This is not surprising to me.
Do not be afraid or ashamed of your wonderful way you express yourself sexually. If your partner cannot meet you with this, find another. Do not waste your precious sexual life force on someone who will denigrate it by withdrawing, ignoring or withholding interest and sexual partnership.
Good luck!
Deborah
Want to find out more about female ejaculation? Check out Deborah Sundahl’s popular sex-education DVD Female Ejaculation for Couples.