Fatale Media Blog

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.

Dear Deborah,

I’d like to learn more about female ejaculation, but I’m not sure how to start. Should I try to find my own G-spot first, before talking to my partner?

Baffled in Baton Rouge

Dear Baffled,

The best way to begin to discover your own G-spot is to treat this important excursion as a relaxing hour of self-care.

As we all know by now, that means: uninterrupted quiet time where you have treated yourself to a long bath, candles, music and other things you truly like and want to partake in that you know relax you.

Then, use lubricant (olive oil works just fine if you don’t have anything else; if Cleopatra used it, you can, too!).

Before proceeding any further, do 12 rounds (in and out) of slow, deep breathing, filling your lungs completely and exhaling completely.

Next, place your finger at the entrance to your vagina and keep it there with very gentle insistence, waiting until your vagina practically scoops your finger inside. Continue to relax and breathe deeply. Don’t push yourself in and don’t push yourself deep. Stay just inside the opening an inch or two, that’s all.

Turn the pad of your finger toward the roof of your vagina. Breathe and relax. Then, millimeter by millimeter, explore all the crevices and folds, caves and ridges of your G-spot. Yes, that’s it.  Right there!

But if you don’t approach it in this relaxed and loving manner, you can breeze right by it. Not because it is small, but because we are too busy, in this culture, looking for the Big Prize. It is indeed a Big Prize, but it is wrapped in delicate paper at first, and sometimes we can think we don’t feel anything, or that it hurts, or that it should send us off the planet in instant exquisite pleasure.

Remember, breathe and relax and notice what you feel.

Once you have explored your G-spot once or twice, invite your partner to explore with you. In this way, you will have a new sexual frontier to explore together.

If you’d like more information, the revised, second edition of my book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, is now out and available for sale at Fatale Media. I hope you like it.

Best wishes,

Deborah Sundahl

P.S. Here are Deborah’s upcoming workshops and webinars about female ejaculation and the G-spot:

• “Talk for Men: Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot” is a 2-hour evening webinar that runs the first Tuesday of each month. The next “Talk for Men” is Tuesday, August 5, 2014 at 9:00 p.m. EDT. Click here for more information.

• Deborah’s next live “Weekend Workshop for Women” will be held in Muenster, Germany, October 10 – 12 , 2014.

“The workshop was a precious experience of deep intimacy with myself. Beside meeting beautiful and curious women (and having a lot of fun), the group’s experience allowed me to let go, in a trusting atmosphere, supported by the other women’s experiences and energy.” – Maeva, Grenoble, France

Click here to learn more and read other testimonials.

• Want to learn what happens in an in-person female ejaculation workshop? Read “Workshop Etiquette” by Deborah Sundahl.