Rather shocking ad, a double-page spread, in the latest Martha Stewart Living appears to advertise the Jones New York clothing line available at Macy’s. Huh?
Why are these two straight girls holding hands and looking as if they’ve just eaten forbidden fruit?
Here’s the picture (don’t choke): 
An old friend and customer wrote to us lately asking for statistics on strapons.
He wants to know how many butches are out there really—he calls butches “manly women,” but he may well mean exactly that, straight women who wear a suit and tie. We don’t know of too many straight women who go in men’s clothes. Been a while since Marlene Dietrich did her thing.
He also wants to know how many older women are out trolling for younger men. And how many women who wear strapons like to stroke their strapons.
For all these questions, we have no answers, not being sociologists or even sexologists but rather pornographers.
Here’s our favorite question:
“Are skirts still popular, or are they going out of style? They seem old-fashioned to me. I would prefer to a woman in a pantsuit any day.”
For this we must ask a femme…or a drag queen. And the answer is resoundingly no! Skirts are not going out of style.
The most popular butch/femme DVD we carry is Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels by the gorgeous femme Shar Rednour and her handsome lover Jackie Strano.
Anybody check out Fashion Week last month? “Calf-grazing skirts.”
Of course, don’t tell Lady Gaga.
Or her Muppet skirt.
If you have answers or commentary, please let it all out! Click the Comments button here.
We want to know what you think, too.
Yours in good love and sex,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
By Shar Rednour
Shar’s Confessions once again. I just like confessing to the Fatale audience. I don’t know why.
This article does include some tips for romance. I have been known as a lesbian romance and sex expert, giving advice for years. Let’s get down to it: there’s a line in the sand, my friends–the romantic planning people and the rest of us. Which side are you on? And which side is your love on? Yes, wake her up and read this to her.
For those of you who are just the best organizers and such romantic planners, why are you even reading this? YOU are the person who my wife, Jackie, points out to me, “Veronica is taking her love to Amsterdam.” “Denise has made her love a shadowbox full of ANTIQUED photos and is giving it to her on a ferry going under Golden Gate Bridge!!!”
I think I am being romantic when I remember to send her a nasty text for her lunch hour. Yes, laugh at me. Go ahead. I am laughing at myself. Sometimes even though I am the femme I relate to the guys on those daytime talk shows who think a fuck and buying you a glass of champagne is good enough. “Whaa?”
To be fair to myself, I should explain that oftentimes one’s weakness can be one’s strength because we are aware of it. I overcompensate to make up for my lack of natural romantic planning. Now, I call my friend Veronica and simply ask HER what’s she’s doing, then I copy it. Don’t tell Jackie.
But I am good at keeping intimacy and sex alive in a lesbian coupledom.
Please copy me and I won’t tell on this part.
1) Skip the Dinner
For Valentine’s Day most people go out for a fancy dinner. If you never get to go out and this is your big treat, then by all means go for it. For me, though, I find the fastest ticket to opening up and creating intimacy with your lover doesn’t always start with a heavy meal.
2) Plan where you can be intimate.
Do you live alone? Will you have the house to yourself? If not, instead of spending that money on a big meal, plan for a hotel. On the Internet these days you can get all kinds of bargains in your price range. Get a hotel even if you can’t take advantage of it for more than a couple of hours. And most importantly, get a room with a bathtub. Even if you get a cheap room, get one with a bath.
3) A) Plan sexy food. B) Plan after-sex food.
Obviously it’s freezing in most places so this is up to where you live. Get your and your love’s favorite appetizers. Wine, champagne, whatever drinks or smokes you want. Also water. For after sex, pick up something filling and yummy–your favorite comfort food. Couple of burritos, whatever. Keep them warm and hide them.
4) Pack the Love Bag.
If you are at home, get it all ready. Remember the lube, candles, sex toys, music, DVD player, favorite sexy movies, etc. If you can set up the hotel room ahead of time, without her there, all the better.
5) Pack the after bag.
Comfy clothes, favorite bath salts, lotion.
6) Thoughts and love.
Think ahead of what is special about her and about you two together. Write down your thoughts in a card. Picture how you are going to express yourself to her.
7) Make the Connection.
Start with your tasty bites…I meant the hor d’oeuvres but yes, nibble on her or offer your body for the nibbling. Don’t process the bad times or the old days or–especially if you are a new couple, please don’t process about your Ex! (See Hard Love for that.) Talk about what you like about yourselves as a couple and her and the future. Then start kissing. Don’t wait for her to start stuff. Go for it. Get in there. If you have time do a striptease for her or demand that she do one for you. Fuck your brains out. I mean it. ESPECIALLY if you are moms or caretakers or overworkers or or or not had sex in a while. FILL UP YOUR SEX GAS TANK!!!
Having sex creates vulnerability and also sets off excellent hormones and body responses that make us feel good. Being vulnerable creates a special bond between you and your love.
8 ) After sex and vulnerability.
Lay back and watch more porn, but this time pick out one with humor too. Like Sugar High Glitter City. No, not Lost. Sorry, that’s for a different night. Take a bath. Eat comfort food and get turned on again or laugh and discuss the positions. This time you might just kiss and kiss since your bellies will be full. 😉
Or you’ll be reenergized for round two.
By Shar Rednour
Jackie and I used to always have a big Valentine’s Day party every year with invitations that read “To Singles, couples, multiples that we like or that we will like once we meet you!” No Wendy Whiners allowed.
Many people hate or dread Valentine’s Day. It is made up by Hallmark, after all. Those very people loved our party. We put on the love for everyone. It was a great excuse to get dressed up and dance and hug and be schmaltzy and share the love. That whole couple Valentine’s Day article I wrote is actually what we do on our private anniversary. We always put on a public Valentine’s Day so that everyone has a good time sharing our fun and love.
I could write some fun and sassy masturbation or group-sex article. But actually I think that you should throw a Valentine’s Day party even if it’s small and for only a few people. We had a pink potluck party one year where everyone had to bring a pink food. Some of it was yummy; most of it was hilarious. My friend Patrick made a pink Jello mold creation from his mom’s 1973 recipe that we couldn’t stop laughing over and finally threw the leftovers out into the gutter in the San Francisco rain. IT NEVER MELTED! I walked past it for days, and it was still there jiggling!!!
If you want to take your party up a notch, make a porn potluck theme–Positions You Would Like to Try. Dyke Porn Stars You Would Like to Do.
Or play truth-or-dare porn. Watch Full Load or Special Delivery and get your friends to confess to what they have done, will do and would never do. The ideas are endless. The point is, anyone can stick her nose up at a created holiday and sit at home eating microwave popcorn, or you can decide it is a good time in the cold winter to have some laughs, share your affections with your friends and get heated up from the inside out.
We’ll write more about this in a future issue of the Fatale Media Blog, but we want to clarify what we mean by “queer porn,” which is at this point mostly lesbian but not 100%.
Some of you have asked, for example, about Roulette by Courtney Trouble , with it’s boy-boy scene smack dab in the middle of the lesbian scenes.
Queer Manor, the new DVD by Madison Young, however, is by our definition pure lesbian. Don’t be fooled by the title.
We went to Courtney Trouble and asked her how she defines queer. Here’s what she said:
“Queer Porn can be any combination of boys, girls, transfolk and genderqueers, doing any combination of things, be it sweet, romantic, vanilla, kinky, experimental or rough. Queer is a word used by those whose sexuality does not fit so easily with what society has given us to choose from. For instance, I don’t fit into a lesbian description because I am attracted to more than just women in my sexual fantasies and in my daily life.
“As well, I don’t feel ‘bisexual’ because I like more than two gender identities. I try to mix a little bit of everything into my films, proving that the diversity of desire is more than just LGBT, and sometimes, who we are does not dictate what we watch to get off.”
Stay tuned for more from Courtney Trouble, director most recently of Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out .
Do gay girls like anal? We’ve been surprised at how many people are trying to find the answer to this pressing question.
In our experience, lesbians like most anything, assuming the act is approached with a level of communication and not just plunged in. If you get our drift… There are a lot of options down there, and women are no different than anyone else when it comes to enjoying sex.
We’re headed to Washington, D.C., next weekend to see Christi’s sister and her wife. Yes, you read that right. They got married in Massachusetts last summer and are now hosting a weekend-long party for friends and family. Too bad we just missed the March on Washington.
We always figured we’d get married…and then we realized we already were—in spirit and form and function. Our rings still do mean something and represent our decade-plus commitment to each other.
Does this mean some lesbians simply want sex and others need and/or want marriage and others just want to watch episodes of The L Word? Nothing against The L Word, mind you. Or maybe all three?
Courtney Trouble wrote a good piece exploring these notions in “Hot ’n’ Heavy” for this month’s issue of Curve Magazine.
Tell us: What do you want? Click on the Comments below and tell us!
Meanwhile, any suggestions for where to find fun, sexy dykes in D.C., let us know!
“Kick open that door to your temple and let people in!”
So says Karen Williams, and watching once again her 2008 live show from the Knitting Factory in Hollywood is a good wakeup call.
We say yes! It’s time. Forget that moan-and-groan, I-don’t-wanna-have-sex attitude. Sex is good, and good for you. Sex is fun. Sex is real.
So quit whimpering and get inspired. Dress up. Get loose. Strap on. Try something you’ve never tried before.
And if you need some true inspiration, watch a sexy DVD. You won’t regret it.
Yours in good love and sex,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
We had the amazing good fortune to see the delicious Amanda Palmer recently. It was a small club, one we’d never been to before.
If you don’t know this dazzling performer with a big, big voice and biting wit (not to mention concert-hall-worthy piano-playing), we recommend you check her out. Formerly of the Dresden Dolls, Amanda Palmer has been out on her own promoting Who Killed Amanda Palmer, and what an album it is.
Now, not everybody likes to make love to cabaret, but Amanda Palmer makes us shiver, producing major clit jolts in us.
Most of our lesbian friends in New York adore her. They’d no doubt get down on the floor and do most anything for this woman, given the chance.
And yes, we have a six-degrees-of-separation situation with Amanda Palmer. Apparently she’s good friends with Kim Airs, the woman who introduced us.
Amanda looked lovely in a long green gown with skinny straps. She wandered into the space and through the audience strumming a little ukulele. Given the profusion of porkpie hats in the room—a tribute to the cabaret style of Dresden Dolls’ Brian Viglione–we weren’t sure which porkpie was going to bow down first.
What we did notice was the effects of the music on the packed crowd. Wandering through a nearly empty backroom to hit the ladies’ room, Christi noticed a big boy in a suit—he could have been Tony Soprano risen from the dead, from the looks of him.
Tony there was sitting back in the shadows at a corner table…a look of pure bliss on his face as he glanced at the ceiling. Then, the slightest movement from his lap. Dark hair.
Ah, Christi had wondered why he was wearing his overcoat. He was getting a little head while Amanda Palmer sang “Coin Operated Boy.” She is good music for sex.
Here’s Amanda Palmer performing “Coin Operated Boy”:
(Or, if you can’t see this, watch Amanda Palmer here at YouTube.)
What about you? Have you ever had public sex? Take the public sex poll on Fatale’s home page.
Yours in good love and sex,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
P.S. To see Fatale’s latest DVD—with rockin’ original music and just nominated for the Feminist Porn Awards—check out One Night Stand.
We read with interest Daphne Merkin’s “Butch Fatale” piece about Rachel Maddow in the New York Times Women’s Fashion Spring 2009 magazine a couple weeks ago.
It gave us a chuckle to think of Rachel Maddow as “fatale” anything, because she’s clearly a good-looking, sexy butch who whets our news whistle each evening on MSBNC.
Then we stumbled upon Jen Sabella’s rebuttal on AfterEllen: “The New York Times Tackles ‘Butch Fatale.’” It’s an excellent essay, and we commend Sabella’s skewering wit and astute commentary.
We were uneasy too when we read “Butch Fatale.” As a proud butch/femme couple, we found it rather odd to see “lipstick lesbians” equated with femmes, the femmes in question barely acknowledged. According to Merkin, there are only two “Sapphic archetypes” and “both categories (butch and femme)” derive from “gender-influenced dichotomies of beauty.”
Give us a break.
Sabella also pulled out this zinger: “In one of [Daphne Merkin’s] books, Dreaming of Hitler, she says that even lesbians ‘wish to be filled with something hard and penislike and not-female.’”
Our favorite comment came from Jenna DQ, and with her permission we’re quoting her comment nearly in full:
“I might get eaten alive for this, but, yeah, obviously there are plenty of lesbians who enjoy penetration. Even straight men like penetration (those who’ll admit it anyway). What vagina wig is missing here is the same thing stupid people (excuse the gross generalization) miss all the time. It’s not strictly a genital thing. Half of sex occurs in the mind! So ask a lesbian who enjoys penetration if there’s a difference between being f*ed by a man or a woman…Ask a gay top if there’s a difference between f*ing a woman’s butt or a man’s…Ask a straight man if there’s a difference between getting a beej from a man or a woman! You are making love to a sexuality, not a genital.
“Come on. Get with it…not to mention that there are plenty of women who do not enjoy penetration, so where does her generalizing, dismissive statement fit them in?”
We couldn’t have said it better. Thanks, Jenna!
We recommend reading this intelligent article and equally intelligent comments at AfterEllen.
Yours in good love and sex,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
P.S. To see Fatale’s latest DVD with lesbians who like penetration, check out One Night Stand. For guys who like it, Bend Over Boyfriend is the sex-ed gold standard.
Snorkeling and Scandalous
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010Even comedian Bill Maher, a guest on MSBNC’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann, was stumped on the snorkeling, not having heard the term.
Here’s a clip from Huffington Post of Bill Maher ragging on Massa.
Maybe Massa should have checked out Bend Over Boyfriend for a little fantasy-comes-to-life fun.
He’s not gay, right? (Here’s what he told Larry King.)
The luscious women at Scandalous Women did a fabulous review of Bend Over Boyfriend in the article, “Bending Your Boyfriends Over.”
“If your bag of carnal tricks doesn’t include “pegging” yet, rest assured this bedroom role reversing power play will soon be appearing in one of your upcoming booty calls!
“[U]seful tips and advice on building your confidence to approach your men about anal sex, how to find the right strapon (size matters!) and how to fuck him so it doesn’t hurt…much. Role-playing and fantasy are also explored to a degree and it asks the all important question, ‘what do women get out of this?’ The answer – when a dildo is strapped on it’s usually positioned right over your clit and you have rhythmic sensations right where it counts.”
Thanks, ladies!
Till next time, yours in good love and sex,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
Tags:Bend Over Boyfriend, Bill Maher, Eric Massa, MSNBC, Scandelous Women, snorkeling
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