Archive for the ‘Sex Commentary’ Category

Sex Tips: Can Porn Help You Know If You’re a Lesbian?

Friday, November 16th, 2012

Are you gay?

This is a real question. Who wants to know? Parents, friends, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, cousins and all the rest of them. Believe it or not, knowing if you’re lesbian, gay or bisexual isn’t always obvious. Can porn help?

Queer Manor lesbian porn by Madison YoungThe benefits of watching porn, besides being a huge turn-on for many people, is that you can discern which sex acts are of interest, which sex acts you like, if you react strongly for or against certain images.

Will it help you know if you’re a lesbian? Or bisexual? Or something else?

Probably. If you like watching women have sex with each other, and you’re turned on, then there’s at least some lesbian twinges happening inside you.

Does it mean you’ll be a lesbian forever? Maybe. Maybe not. Like a lot of things, it depends on what you make of it.

Some women are only interested in women. Or they are sometimes, and sometimes with men, or multiple partners, or they’re equally turned on by men and women and others.

What about transgender impulses? There are whole cultures of transgender people who are not necessarily transsexual but who dress and behave in ways traditionally different than their given gender. In the Chicago Reader‘s blog The Straight Dope, Cecil Adams captures the essence of what psychiatry terms “gender identity disorder”: “you think you’re the wrong sex, and you’re not happy about it.”

On the other hand, “What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?” the New York Times Magazine asked not long ago. Gender-fluid is the way they describe parenting boys who like girls’ stuff.

Queer pornographers such as Courtney Trouble and Madison Young prefer the word genderqueer. They’re breaking new ground in blurring the boundaries between straight and gay and queer and trans.

Why Seduction Matters – Sometimes

Saturday, October 13th, 2012

We get asked a lot about lesbian seduction videos. Which videos show mature lesbians? Which videos show “first lesbian sex” seduction scenes? Which videos show butch/femme lesbian seduction?

Seduction, it turns out, is the key to what makes watching real lesbians make love. Unlike mainstream adult videos, real lesbian videos home in on the magic between two women.

Seduction matters—except sometimes.

Sometimes, who needs wine and roses? “Just fuck me, baby!”

In the hallway, in the car, in an alley, in the kitchen, in bed. It rarely matters where. Explosive sex can be the best medicine for what ails us.

When your sweetie has got her big dildo or fingers ready, or your sweetie is the one ready, willing and panting, go for it. Wine and roses, romantic snuggles, kissing can all come later.

For a good get-wet non-seduction, just-fuck-me scenes, check out Hard Love, one of our favorites. There are others with good spontaneous sex (and check this out for good butch/femme and butch/butch sex).

Here’s a sexy clip from One Night Stand:


ONE NIGHT STAND ( Trailer ) by emiliej

If for any reason you can’t see this trailer here, you can watch it right on the One Night Stand page on our site.

And when seduction is just what you had in mind, here are some seduction recommendations:

Nina and Jiz in Live Sex Show

  • Live Sex Show for best mature lesbian seduction with Nina Hartley and Jiz Lee

 

 

Hungry Hearts

  • Hungry Hearts for best classic lesbian butch/femme romance seduction with Pepper and Reeva.

 

 

 

Get seduced! Or not.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Check out what LesbianLife.About.com calls “the best lesbian porn.”

The V Word

Friday, September 21st, 2012

Naomi Wolf

“Female sexuality around the world is targeted because through traumatizing the vagina, you can intimidate women on multiple other levels,” writes Naomi Wolf, author of a new book called Vagina: A New Biography.

Wolf’s article, “Kate’s breasts, Pussy Riot, virginity tests and our attitude on women’s bodies,” was published this week on CNN.com.

We don’t 100% agree with Wolf about porn—Porn 24/7, as she calls it. But we do agree with her in general about women’s bodies and sexuality. She writes:

In the struggle over sex, these choices are where the struggle lies: Who decides reproductive rights; who decides when and how breasts might be exposed; who decides who can say vagina and where; who decides who is a slut; and who must be punished with hard labor for asserting their right to define their own sexual and artistic identities.

The censorship by Apple iTunes, as noted in an article in The Guardian, was shocking enough. Adding asterisks so that the word vagina reads v****a.

We see actions the world over suppressing women’s sexuality and sexual expression.

Still and all, Jennifer Hough, writing in the Toronto Star, says “the widespread activism” about the trial and sentencing of Pussy Riot “suggests these young Russian dissidents are giving the movement new impetus, perhaps even tweaking feminism for a new generation.”

Why does women’s sexuality matter? Why does women’s porn matter? We say: It’s about control. Who controls women’s bodies and sexuality matters.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Check out what LesbianLife.About.com calls “the best lesbian porn.”

P.P.S. You’re invited: Join Fatale Media on Pinterest. Sexy boards include—“Lesbians We Love,” “Romance,” “LGBTQ Life,” “Femme Thrills,” “Yum,” “Butch,” “Sexy Lesbians” and more. It’s fun!

 

Renegade

Friday, August 31st, 2012

We don’t watch a lot of politics in general, although we do like knowing the news. And yes, we read newspapers too.

The Presidential election season is upon us here in the U.S., and we’ve been rather dumbfounded by some of the ideas floating about that call into question some basic tenets of women’s health. Birth control, or contraception, is one of them. Representative Todd Akin’s notion of “legitimate rape”—versus some other kind of rape? VP hopeful Paul Ryan’s idea that rape is a “method of conception.”

Sometimes the news is too much. A good chuckle is all we need. A Fatale reader and fan sent along this video of “Renegade Raging Grannies.”

Renegade Raging Grannies

 

Renegade Raging Grannies Take On Todd Akin

 

 

 

 

The ending is the best part. Watch here on YouTube.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. And after you’ve had a good chuckle, check out what LesbianLife.About.com calls “the best lesbian porn.”

P.P.S. Join Fatale Media on Pinterest. New boards include “Romance” and “Yum.” Most popular? Lesbians We Love.

 

Cosmo Style

Saturday, August 18th, 2012

Helen Gurley Brown 1964We were saddened to hear of the passing of Helen Gurley Brown this past week. While not exactly in line with Feminist Beliefs back in the 1970s, she believed in sex. Because of her belief that women could be homemakers or in the workforce and still sexy, we owe her a nod of gratitude.

She pioneered putting sexy women on the pages of Cosmopolitan. It hadn’t been done before.

It wasn’t really until On Our Backs and Fatale Video (now Fatale Media, as you know) came into being that we dykes were able to openly proclaim our sexuality.

It’s hard to imagine now, but 30 years ago there were Take Back the Night Marches in New York and elsewhere, protesting violence against women and protesting porn. The Sex Wars were in full swing.

Forgive us for taking some liberties with history here, but feminists and sex had an uneasy relationship for a while, despite what we were actually doing in bed.

Where did Helen Gurley Brown fit in to all this? Cosmopolitan was a sexist rag, some thought. But then we caught up to Cosmo in a way that we didn’t expect.

Cosmopolitan was one of the first mainstream magazines to jump on Bend Over Boyfriend and take up the issue of “role-reversal fantasy.”

Straight gals had Cosmo. Thanks to Helen Gurley Brown’s passion for sex, straight women didn’t have to be ashamed of sex.

Being out there and sexy was one thing we shared with Helen Gurley Brown. RIP.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

nan@fatalemedia.com

christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Get the Bend Over Boyfriend Gift Set and save 15%.

P.P.S. You’re invited: Join Fatale Media on Pinterest. Sexy boards include—“Lesbians We Love,” “LGBTQ Life,” “Femme Thrills,” “Hearts Aflutter,” “Butch,” “Sexy Lesbians” and more. It’s fun!

Polycurious?

Saturday, March 3rd, 2012
Superfreak

Superfreak

Throughout the years, we’ve met people in open relationships. Call it polyamory or, as some people prefer, polyfidelity.

A few years ago “polyamory” piqued the interest of journalists. The Daily Beast wondered if polyamory was the “next sexual revolution.Big Love was big on HBO, and while the Book of Mormon was still in development, Mitt Romney was already planning his 2012 comeback as a presidential candidate.

Polyamorous Percolations is a blog that focuses on polyamory in the news. If you’re curious, it’s a good place to get the gist of poly “issues,” and there are issues. But clearly there’s also a lot of pleasure.

What struck us was the way some triads and foursomes (and moresomes) identified as straight, lesbian or bisexual.

We also stumbled upon a good article reprinted from Autostraddle called “Queer Polyamory for Lesbians.”

Speaking of Autostraddle, congratulations to them for winning three 2012 Webbies last Sunday and scooping up the coveted “Weblog of the Year.”

We love especially their NSFW Lesbosexy Sundays.

Yours in good love and sex,

Christi and Nan
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. One of our favorite flicks with a steamy dyke threeway is Shine Louise Houston’s Superfreak. Here’s a blog post listing the others, Good Lesbian PolyPleasure7 must-see movies.

 

Ask Fanny: Finding Time for Romance

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

In “Ask Fanny,” a regular Fatale Media newsletter column, G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

Deborah Sundahl Female Ejaculation ExpertDear Fanny,
I have three kids in grade school and to be honest our lovemaking is taking a beating. There just is no time for quality time together sexually, much less learn about female ejaculation, which seem to take a lot of time to learn.

Do you have any suggestions?

Signed,

Swamped in Pennsylvania

Dear Swamped,
Every parent I know has the same problem, and yet the answer is what parent guides have been saying for years: you must take time for your relationship!

I firmly believe that once a month you MUST schedule a weekend together, alone and uninterrupted. Sexuality and lovemaking and time together form the glue that keeps your relationship strong. If you starve it, you end up hurting the entire family in the end. You must put your relationship first, and you must spend the money to invest in this.

Often, the grandparents are all too happy to babysit the kids. One couple I know had 10 brothers and sisters and grandparents all in town, happy to watch the kids, but he didn’t want to “impose.” For one thing, cousins want to see each other, and second, to the vast majority of grandparents, their grandkids are the most important thing in their life and gives them great joy. I told him he was not only robbing his immediately family but his extended family as well.

No family around?  You must develop your neighborhood network of swapping and watching one another’s kids.

Logistics and commitment aside, once you have a weekend together, believe me you will have plenty of time to learn how to female ejaculate!

Practice, practice, practice. That’s the key, in my experience, to learning new sexual techniques.

When you see how good you feel and how restored your relationship is, you won’t hesitate to make time for you and your sweetheart.

Good luck!

Fanny

Female Ejaculation for Couples DVDP.S. Want to find out more about female ejaculation?

Check out Deborah Sundahl’s popular sex-education DVD Female Ejaculation for Couples.

Talking Dirty

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

Another letter from a friend surprised us when it arrived last week. What about “talking dirty?” he wanted to know.

Surprise! Talk to Me Baby is a DVD from S.I.R. Video that is the crème de la crème for talking dirty. Director and dirty-talk expert Shar Rednour, the “Diva of Dirty Talk,” offers:

Tips on how to use dirty talk to seduce a lover
Pillow talk as a prelude to passion
Sex fantasies played out in scorching detail.

Smut Magazine wrote: “Shar Rednour is, as always, the perfect hostess. She’s her usual vampy, campy and out of control self. What I love about this video is that anyone can get something out of it.”

What gives even more spice to dirty talking is a little added fetish. Our friend writes: “I also like the fetish ( I adore sucking women’s toes) before talking to a woman. I look to her toes, and hands…”

For all the talk of Representative Anthony Weiner—and we do not believe he should resign—and his “dirty tweets,” actual dirty talk is sexier than any tweet or posting.

The tenor of the voice, the smooth soft lure of a honeyed sexy voice… The greatest writers, even those who write great tweets, can’t match the thrill that sparks up and down the spine when the seductive dirty talk starts.

What do you think?

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Check out Talk to Me Baby. Just so you know, the couples who illustrate the dirty talk here about both straight and lesbian.

P.P.S. Fatale Media’s Gay Pride Special is on through June, 2011. Ten percent off everything plus free shipping in the U.S.

Bushy

Tuesday, May 24th, 2011

Our dear friend Tony wrote to us with some more insights into the oftentimes mysterious world of straight kinky relationships.

We’ve known Tony for years, and he has shared his perspectives on sex and politics and the geopolitical shifts that allow our worlds to intersect. In another place and time, our worlds would probably have never met.

But that’s the fun thing about what we do! We meet people from all over the world and from all walks of life. This business offers a wonderful place for intersections.

Our friend’s latest letter was edited slightly to avoid the e-mail censors; this is his original letter to us:

“I would like to see posting the issue of pubic hair. As I told you before, my four girls have bushy pubic hair, which gives me a great sexual appetite for a good fuck.

“I did some surveying here [in Massachusetts], asking many women if they shave or keep growing their cunt hair and why? The women who shave believe that it will be easy for them to masturbate and to be licked from both sexes.

“The other women keep growing their pubic hair, because while masturbating they love to feel the hair and touch it, especially this excites them while they are taking a shower, see the shampoo on their pubic hair, as they believe this makes them feel that their privates are special, different from others’. When it comes to sex, they get more orgasm feeling, from the tongue on their pubic hair and the dick.

“As for me I adore the pubic hair to be bushy, because once my girls finish peeing on my face and in my mouth, I suck dry their pubic hair, while doing that my girls and me, we get extreme sexual excitement.”

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

Bushy pubic hair on display in Afterschool SpecialP.S. To see bushy public areas on display, check out Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com. The last scene, down in the laundry, is a particularly nice one.

P.P.S. To read the letter that preceded this one, see “Advice on a Sexual Issue (Drinking Pee).”

Marriage and Its Defenders

Thursday, May 5th, 2011

We’d like to put our hat in the ring and say, “We too defend marriage.” For anybody. For everybody.

All this Defense of Marriage Act back-and-forth has reached, as the New York Times put it, “a tipping point.” Adam Lipak’s article last Sunday, “A Tipping Point for Gay Marriage,” pointed out that the legal community is often ahead of the curve when it comes to forward-thinking ideas and acceptance of those ideas in the general public.

Long before gay marriage becomes legal throughout the United States, legal decisions such as Lawrence v. Texas, decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2003, which in essence legalized gay sex (sodomy, to be precise).

Now we have international law firm King & Spalding, based in Atlanta, withdrawing from a case that would have put them in a position to defend the Defense of Marriage Act. Marriage should be between one man and one woman, that act says. The law firm doesn’t want to alienate its law-school recruits, among other things. Good. Let them withdraw.

If it takes the legal community to lead the way in legalizing gay marriage, so be it.

Till next time, yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Check out Shine Louise Houston’s new lesbian DVD The Crash Pad Series Volume 6. A keeper for sure!

P.P.S. Check out all Fatale’s DVDS.