Fatale Media Blog

This weekend I lost two babysitters because they were moving; three other friends at a Bar-B-Q are prepping to move as well as three other friends who blew off the party to pack up the truck. The 20-something babysitters are moving back in with their folks because the economy is ruining their summer of love.

A couple of my other friends, though, are doing THE MOVE-IN. The big one, with lovers. Cue: the U-haul joke.

Frankly, I’m a Libra—we aren’t the Cancer nesters, but dang it we love love and it’s so-o-o-o-o romantic for us to move in with a lover. I of course never want to unpack. The whole thing scares me and discombobulates me. I frantically open the Champagne that’s meant for celebration later and walk around in circles staring at boxes and getting more and more confused until I end up in a full nervous breakdown, at which point said lover realizes it’s her job to make passionate love to me to make me forget my worries.

(The problem is inevitably that I have more stuff than I have containing objects like dressers. I guess I need to grow up and pay for dressers instead of just finding them on Big Trash day. I digress. That’s either a Planet Green column or an HGTV piece, depending on which way you go.)

People get really intense when moving. Either you are not sentimental and you can throw random items like your shampoo, dildo and incense all into the same box without a thought. Or you are the opposite and every item that you pick up requires a judgment on your entire life: Is this Mustang Ranch coffee cup the first cup that her lips touched in my house? If you sell it in the garage sale does it mean she is nothing to you?

Anyhoo—in Hard Love we focus on the breakup and the Ex-Sex with good references to couch-carrying on moving day.

You would be surprised how many dykes told me that they too had had a huge Ex fight regarding the couch or other moving day extremes. Do we all owe Ex sex to anyone who carried found furniture home for us? And is it okay for the Ex to court and even fuck on that shared couch? Where is the line between slime-bag dog and utilitarian dyke?

Well, everyone does not break up after the move-in. An oldie but goodie, Suburban Dykes shows us how the serious moved-in lovers keep it hot and real.

When the doorbell rings and our loving couple opens the door to Sharon Mitchell with her bag of goodies (Nina Hartley and Pepper had ordered her as an escort to spice up their life) I cum right there without even waiting. I have the vibrator set and ready.

Listen, if butch Sharon showed up at my door I would stay married forever to my woman who ordered her up. And that’s that. The hot sex, real chemistry and gorgeous pussy shots in Surburban Dykes makes this a flick that will always stand the test of time. Just like a good move-in!

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S.I.R. Video producer and director Shar Rednour is best known for directing Bend Over Boyfriend, Bend Over Boyfriend 2 , Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels, Sugar High Glitter City and Talk to Me Baby.