G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot. You may send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com; please put FE Q&A in the subject line.
Dear Fanny,
I used to be able to female ejaculate, but lately it seems it’s not as easy as it used to be. Is there anything I can do to make it easier again?
Anonymous in New York
Dear Anonymous in New York,
The ability to female ejaculate is often characterized by sensitivity to one’s connection to your partner and also to yourself. If it is not as easy to ejaculate as it once was, this situation often reflects a change in your relationship from closeness to more difficulties or distance.
If you’re not in a relationship, this can reflect a change in how you relate or perceive yourself; perhaps you’re not feeling as attractive as you used to feel about yourself.
Sometimes for women who are very profuse when they ejaculate, they begin to have problems or doubts about ejaculating so much liquid. They then curtail their desire to ejaculate or don’t do it as frequently. If they are not conscious of these doubts, it can seem to them as if it is becoming more difficult to ejaculate, when in fact they are holding themselves back due to not wanting to create such a big pool of water every time they are sexual.
Lastly, if a woman has been performance-oriented and trying hard to ejaculate, she may find her ability waning somewhat, due to pushing too hard (both literally and figuratively). As I have said many times, the surest way to not ejaculate is to pressure yourself. Relax and enjoy the process!
In the same vein, a change may be coming over your sexual desires. Perhaps you have been having lots of sport sex, and now you want to go more inward and explore what your sexuality would be like from the perspective of expressing love and intimacy with yourself or a partner.
Bottom line: don’t worry about this change in your ability to ejaculate. Use it as the opportunity it is: to take a look at your erotic life for changes, or changes you are beginning to want to make.
Deborah
Want to find out more about female ejaculation?
Check out Deborah Sundahl’s popular sex-education DVD Female Ejaculation for Couples and her equally popular book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.