In last month’s poll, we asked: Do strap-ons turn you on?
Quite a turnout on this deeply personal poll question! Girlfriends, it seems, are the winners. See all the results here.
There’s a really great comment from Jeff in here too—check it out.
This month we ask: Do you have sex in the tub?
Vote now!
The poll is on Fatale’s home page. And we’ll give you the results next month.
Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex.
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
We promised you a while back that we’d try to find out some more information about the status of On Our Backs. We have some good news.
As you may know, H.A.F. Publishing sold On Our Backs and Girlfriends magazines in 2004. You can still check out On Our Backs’ Web site, www.onourbacksmag.com, but both magazines ceased publishing at that time.
According to Heather Findlay, the publisher, she is “still considering relaunching both Girlfriends and OOB online.”
Until that time, if you want back issues of On Our Backs, you can order them for $8.95 per copy, which includes shipping. She has issues available from 1998 through 2004. Simply e-mail Heather with the subject line “OOB Back Issue.” Heather’s e-mail address is hfindlay at hafpublishing.com (her address is written out here for security).
Want to know more about the history of On Our Backs, how it was founded by Nan and her partner at the time, Deborah Sundahl, and edited by Susie Bright? Check out Susie’s loving history here: http://susiebright.blogs.com/History_of_OOB.pdf
Fatale started as an offshoot of On Our Backs. We care about On Our Backs because our histories are forever entwined. There’s more about Nan, On Our Backs and Fatale here under “Who We Are and What We Do”: http://www.fatalemedia.com/about.html
Yours in good love and sex,
Nan and Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
You can comment on any story in the newsletter. You should still feel free to e-mail us, but we encourage you to share your stories and experiences with others at the blog.
Don’t forget to check out the March 2008 poll, in which we ask:
Do strap-ons turn you on?
Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page.
And we’ll give you the results in April.
Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex.
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
Are strap-ons an issue? You might wonder. Since the advent of Bend Over Boyfriend, straight folks are really getting into the idea of women strapping it on for men’s anal pleasure. But lesbians and strapons go way back. (Some people spell strapon as one word; some use a hyphen.)
Each of us has a different memory of our first encounters with strapons. Femmes didn’t used to strap on at all, or hardly ever–strapons were the purview of butches–but Jackie and Shar and a whole generation of women said, “Screw that!” They’ll strap it on when and where they want to.
When Suburban Dykes was released, Miss Sharon Mitchell showed up wearing a terribly sexy strap-on, the epitome of the butch top who taught those girls a thing or two.
Are strap-ons a distraction? They can be for those who aren’t familiar or comfortable with them, but for those of us who like the sensation, the passion only increases. There’s nothing quite like a romp with that strap-on to help ease the way.
What was your first encounter with a strap-on? Tell us your story here.
Yours in good love and sex,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
We received an interesting letter from a reader who asked, “I have a question about strapons. Is it possible for a woman to wear a strapon underneath her pants or jeans, as long as they’re not too tight? I’ve seen pics of boyshorts for women at Victoria’s Secret that might enable a woman to wear a strapon. But I wanted to know for sure. Could a strapon fit into a woman’s underwear and pants? Would it depend on the size of each item?”
Carol Queen does a great job showing women how to strap it on in Bend Over Boyfriend, and lesbians have many, many role models in lesbian DVDs.
Here are some more strap-on tips:
— Buy a strapon that fits you. If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with a sex-toy store, go there and try on the harness in the dressing room…over your underwear. If you don’t live near a store where you can shop in person, go to a reputable Web site, look around and be sure to check their returns policy. Check out Toys in Babeland’s “How to Choose a Harness” page here.
— If you intend to wear it under jeans or pants, make sure the pants are big enough and have enough give in the butt so that you don’t get the equivalent of panty lines…in this case, strap-on lines.
— You can wear a strapon underneath or over your underwear, but we don’t recommend wearing a strapon with a thong or g-string because the straps can get caught in the thin fabric.
— Strap it on tight! This is important. The strapon needs to sit flat against your skin or underwear.
— If you’re packing–wearing the strapon with a hard or soft dildo–pick a dildo that’s small enough so that your jeans or pants don’t feel too tight. You want to consider if you’re going out in public too. Do you want everyone to see a long hard schlong down your leg? Or don’t you care? As long as you can walk comfortably, suit yourself.
— If you’re packing underneath a pair of underwear, consider wearing boxer shorts or men’s underwear, which has a place for you to pull out your piece and display it. If and when you’re ready, that is.
— Some women like something inside them while wearing a strapon, but in our experience, this is the exception. Those internal muscles are necessary for making love to your partner. Enjoy the clitoral stimulation, and the sheer excitement of sex with a strapon–pleasing your partner.
— Experiment! Most women have more than one harness and use them for different purposes, and to suit their moods. Two-strap harnesses give flexibility, but you might want to try a one-strap harness. You might have a favorite dildo for a girlfriend and another one for packing and hot dates at the local bar.
To see how several different couples make love with strapons, check out Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com.
Here are some of the more explicit DVDs with strapons.
Straight videos:
Bend Over Boyfriend– Carol Queen gives very clear instructions
Bend Over Boyfriend 2 – More rockin’, less talkin’
Lesbian videos:
The Crash Pad Series Volume 1 – New from Shine Louise Houston
Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com – Vignettes and explicit strapon scenes
Hard Love and How to F*ck in High Heels – Lots and lots of dildos in all different colors
Suburban Dykes – A classic with Nina Hartley
G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dear Fanny,
You mentioned the “Crystal Wand” in your book. I’m looking to purchase one, but I’m having a hard time finding any advice on how to use it. Can you tell me the proper technique?
Thanks,
Bryan in Michigan
PS: Thanks to your book, I’ve helped my last 2 girlfriends ejaculate!!!
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Dear Bryan,
Well, congratulations on helping women to ejaculate!
Because the Crystal Wand is lucite, please make sure it is always moist. It dries out quickly and when it’s dry, it hurts.
The best description of how to use the magic wand is in my video Tantric Journey. You can see quite clearly how Corrynna uses it to ejaculate.
But in general, use one curled end to slip behind the “tail” of the G-spot -the “back end” of the female prostate organ. Use the tip to push (prod and poke) toward the vaginal roof where the tail ends. Explore the “crevice” where tail ends and vaginal roof begins. The tip works nicely to find that one spot that is still sensitive in most women who are just learning to awaken their G-spots. Since it is a hard tool, don’t poke too hard.
If she doesn’t feel anything, she is numb there and needs to reawaken her sensations, which takes lots of time–sometimes years.
You use the 2-3 inches or so from the tip, to gently pull forward on the tail of the G-spot.
As with all toys and bodies, everyone is different. Not all women will feel the same. Different women have different desires and what they like done. And as with all techniques, best to get the general idea and then let the moment lead you.
Hope this helps!
Fanny
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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop
You can comment on any story in the newsletter. You should still feel free to e-mail us, but we encourage you to share your stories and experiences with others at the blog.
In last month’s poll, we asked: Do you like to be in control during sex?
We left out an option–for switches! And here’s a good comment from a reader that addresses this issue:
“I identify as a switch, so I like both to top and bottom. However, as I don’t often find anyone who can successfully top me, I usually end up topping by default. My last partner was a switch with the same problem. We had the most wonderful & amazing sexual chemistry together, though, and managed to top and bottom with each other in very hot, sweet and sexy scenes.”
This month we ask: This month we ask: Do strap-ons turn you on?
Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page.
And we’ll give you the results next month.
Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex.
Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com
Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day, but for us romantics, it’s a perfect excuse to give flowers and chocolate, heart-shaped cookies decorated in red and white frosting and, of course, to exchange Valentine’s cards.
When we were kids, everyone in school made Valentine’s Day cards for their classmates. We suspect they still do, but everything changes once you’re really in love. Valentine’s Day becomes a midwinter break, and in fact the holiday was fused from the celebration of spring in Italy. (We read the whole history here at The History Channel.)
After intending to stay home and cook up a romantic dinner, we’ve now got new plans! Instead, we’ll be making our own whoopee at our favorite hotel on Valentine’s night. Surprise, surprise! This was Nan’s idea, and terribly romantic! An intimate dinner with just the two of us, some serious butch/femme flirtation, and a sexy DVD up in the room…
We’re still going to be watching Sugar High Glitter City, but we’ll also bring along Shine Louise Houston’s DVD, The Crash Pad Series Volume 1.
They’re both sexy as all get-out, and inspiring. We can’t wait.
What are you doing this Valentine’s Day? You can tell us here.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
Amid Sex Scandal, Spitzer Resigns
Wednesday, March 12th, 2008Amid a sex scandal that has New York reeling, Governor Eliot Spitzer has resigned. We were most curious about comments cited in the New York Times this week.
Governor Spitzer was called “difficult” by Temeka Lewis, one of the bookers at the Emperor’s Club. He asked the prostitutes “to do things you might not think were safe,” according to Ms. Lewis.
Kristen, the hooker in question, didn’t have a problem with the governor’s requests, though, and in fact liked him. According to the court papers, Kristen said to him, “Listen, dude, you really want the sex?”
Which got us wondering…What kind of sex did Governor Spitzer want that made it appear “difficult”? Is he a bottom? Of course it’s a stereotype, but people in positions of power, people who get off on law and order, people at the top, in our experience they like taking it lying down now and then. Maybe Kristen’s really a good dominatrix waitrix.
And then we thought, perhaps he likes it up the butt. Hmm. Is he a bend-over-boyfriend kind of guy?
What do you think? Click “Post a comment” and let us know!
Nan and Christi
Posted in Bend Over Boyfriend, Sex Commentary | 1 Comment »